» The Weird Kid In Class

Its not nice to laugh at people with mental disabilities...
...but its the only way to make their lives useful, sadly. None the less, if you knew this guy, you would HAVE to laugh out loud at his antics. If you dont, you go insane trying to keep the laughter in. Anyway, his surname is Durber, but lets call him Jim Durber, because I'm nice.

At first I didn't see anything wrong with him (thats me, not good at reading people). However, I soon realised he was fruitcake after people told me of the odd things he had done. These included: paying girls to let him sit next to him, pushing a girl down the stairs and throwing a brick at her as a sign of affection and laughing manically while a piece of ruler was stuck in his eye.

As time went on, I soon witnessed the horror that was the Durbinator. There are too many hillarious occurances to list here, but here's 10 of the best memories.

Was punched square in the chest and winced. He still managed to say 'ARGH, you missed!'

Sat at the back of the bus, staring at me and the girl he fancied through the gap between the seat and headrest. Oh god, that was freaky.

Walked into the locker room with his face exactly resembling a chimpanzee’s, making a loud 'WAAOOOOOOOOOO' sound.

On numerous occasions, had conversations on his phone with Spongebob.

Used the 'insult' "you like girls don’t you! Hehehe!" on every boy he could find.

Decided to copy Chico from the X-factor. For a good few weeks people would ask him what the time was just to hear him go ‘ISS CHICO TAAAAME!!’ One day, when feeling low, he replied with an un-enthusiastic ‘Is Chico time.’

Used a shower at Dartmoor. He couldn't figure out how to change the heat setting. As a result we had to endure 5 minutes of 'ARRGGGH IT BURNS!! AHHH!!'

On said Dartmoor trip, chewed off the corner of someone's roll-mat. When asked by the teacher why he did it he claimed that he 'was hungry.'

Became a green day fan, a good few years too late. He developed a hilariously bad dance for it and would always say that his favorite bands where ‘Green day and American idiot.’

Best of all, he walked up to all of the year 11 guys, asking them how their mum's where.

He's gone to an even more special school, where hopefully the girls will fully appreciate having a brick thrown at them.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 18:10, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Something I have seen and something I MUST do.
On a public urinal (oh sorry, I meant phonebox) in the town I live in, someone stencil-grafitti'd a Stormtrooper with the word 'LOL!' besides it. Immature, absurd, but oh so amusing and strangely original.

There's a place nearby called 'Buckfastleigh' that so needs a new capital letter...
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 22:04, More)

» Sleepwalking

The Pen Pen have you.
When I was a little nipper, about 6 or 7, I had a dreamcast and the only game I played on it was Pen Pen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlSbUGZe42g&mode=related&search=). For some reason the limitation to only 4 courses and the insanely annoying announcer didnt deter me from taking repetition to the next level and playing the most annoying character exclusively. After one 4 hour stint my parents found me sitting bolt upright in bed staring blankly ahead, pointing intently and making a 'gaaaaaaa gaaaaaaaaaar' noise.

Not exactly sleep walking, more like sleep spacking out.
(Tue 28th Aug 2007, 11:34, More)