» Mix Tapes

inappropriate mix tape
When I was at school - many moons ago - It was year 11 I think.. if they still call it that? I dunno..

There was a student teacher that I thought was so hot..
She was pretty short, slim, had jet black hair in a bob, huge blue eyes, really sweet thing about her.. everything was great, her whole demeanor.. the lot - she was called Miss Stubbins


All I cared about was music.. The school had a "recording studio" - none of the teachers knew how to use it, but I did.. So i used to record and mix all the time..
Even tho she was an art teacher, she used to come down to the music bit coz she was pally with the head of music.. who I was also pally with..
I'd always make sure I was mixing down something good whenever she was there.. And we'd often get talking a bit about a few bits and bobs in passing.

Anyways.. the teachers knew about my fondness for young Miss Stubbins - and it got to a point where i'd get really embarrassed around her.. But I took the plunge and decided.. What I gotta do.. Is make her a mixtape - sorta break the ice.. So I mention to her I wanna do it, and she should too.. to share some music -
She agreed - joyfest!

So I went home and went through my CD collection (which was massive btw) and decided that I needed to find a good mix of tunes that represent me, and my shit.. that she might also either like.. or relate to.

I don't remember the tracklist, but, I do remember it contained Aphex, Slayer, Radiohead, Deftones, Brian Eno and Prince.

I gave her the tape, complete with a jazzy tracklisting and notes about the tunes etc.. And she promtly handed over the one she'd done for me.. with less effort, but still, a tape.

Anyways.. This is going on a bit.. Basically, the tape was full of fuckin shit tunes.. and started with a tune by "the longpigs" - who are rubbish. It went on to contain tracks by oasis, super furry animals, embrace, manics etc.. Loads of shit that I stood against quite frankly..
I gotta admit, looking back there was some good stuff on there, like The Jesus and Mary Chain, The Wedding Present etc etc.. But the majority of it was pure gash

It proper turned me off.. I just couldn't see her in the same way after that.. The fuckin Longpigs?
She, on the other hand fuckin loved it.. "i've never heard aphex twin before - I really like THEM" - which annoyed me a bit..
Plus she was feelin the Slayer. Good lass

Fuckin Longpigs tho

I've since tried really hard to find her on Facebook or some shit.. But no luck

Probably married some indie tosser.

Length.. sorry etc - shit at telling stories
(Sun 10th Feb 2008, 9:58, More)

» Picky Eaters

weird ex-girlfriend
I went out with a girl that had a phobia of cheese.. proper irrational.. she just couldn't go near it.. couldn't look at it, think about it, smell it.. anything.. otherwise she'd cringe and run away.
Obviously i took advantage of this whenever i wanted her to fuck off.
(Fri 2nd Mar 2007, 8:23, More)

» My first experience of porn

big box of pron
the very first pron experience i ever had was when i was about 9, riding my bike "int tunnels" near my house.. i saw some other kid, a bit older, riding his bike, and we got chatting in that inquisitive way that 10 year olds do..
anyways.. we rode on a bit, and found this massive cardboard box full of pron. proper hardcore shit too..
we got it all out, and went up to the trees and made a den, then plastered all the pron around in our den..

later, me and said person became best mates, and still are to this day.

another pron experience was when cable tv arrived everywhere.. i used to set the video to record from about 2 am, when i knew my parents would be in bed, and sneak downstairs to whack the cable box onto "live tv"

love it
(Sat 27th Jan 2007, 9:17, More)

» School Trips

not really a school trip but..
when i was at school, i was never really a sports fan, but i decided to go see the school team playing some other random school one evening.
the way they did it, is the coach of the home team refereed the game (bit unfair i know) so anyway.. i rode up tut fields on my bike, watched a bit of the game, and somewhere down the line, got a bit rowdys and strated shouting "the referee's a wanker" (the referee peing my p.e teacher)
the next day i got called into the head's office and suspended for 2 weeks! and had to do 2000 lines! proper shoddy.
thing is, the guy was a proper wanker.
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 11:49, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

shittin ell
I was once off my tits on drugs in a club.. went for a shit, went to wipe up the shit and somehow slipped my hand and got sludgey shit all over my hand.. at which point some people pushed the door open.. to see me with eyes like fuckin plates, chewing my face off with shit on my hand..

It must have looked fuckin atrocious.

messy
(Mon 31st Mar 2008, 12:00, More)