» Mistaken Identity

A mad old lady!!!
When a close friend of my dad went a little bit, you know mad well not insane but he was sent into a hospital to help people like him, not a mental house!!

Well against my will dad manages to drag me along, we get there and a mad old mistakes me for being her long lost husband(he left her when she had to go to the mental hospital, can't blame him) mind you I was only 11years old.
A member of staff literally had to pull her of me as she was trying to kiss me; she must of been at least 56years; then when he was taken of me we where escorted to a privet room for friends to talk with each other. 5min later dads friend arrives from his room two floors up.

They talked and talked about how much he hated taking his pills everyday. If you ask me I wouldn't be to worried about how many pills I would be taking if it would keep me away from insanity. then when we had to leave, we walked out of the room and from nowhere two arms grab me and pull me to the side and there she is again the old mad lady.
"Don't leave me again please, promise you will come back!"she said half-shouting now and in desperation I reply
"Fucking shit, just fuck off"and the whole corridor goes quiet and I could of swore I herd a man with a baby's voice say,
"I think Magret has gone to far now, the boy is angry now."quietly to his room partner.
Magret as her name apparently was calmed down and said
"I want a divorce"
(Fri 1st Jun 2007, 20:35, More)

» Ripped Off

Movies..
I love them they are great so, I decided to buy some of course.

I'm going to take you back a bit, to went I was earning money lawfuly, like a proper bloke. I din't know what to do with the money I was walking down a street in London and how convineient HMV i thought I love movies i've got about 500 quid in my pocket some friends I haven't seen for a long time coming over for the weekend.

I walked in to the shop confidently pick about 54 movies (the money wasn't enough had to use the credit card).

So you might think were is the rip off right, well next day just walking around in the city looking for somewere nice to have breakfast
I find somewere nice to sit next to the window and what do I see across the street, HMV and on the window a sign saying "up to 50% of movies"

I'm not telling you what I did next!!!

Length??? Go **** **** ***
(Thu 15th Feb 2007, 22:25, More)

» Abusing freebies

Irresponsible staff
When I was a small boy me and a bunch of friend were in the local grocery shop buying sweets for a school trip that we were going on the next day. As we were only small we had a money spending limit so a member of staff thinking he was cool that he was an adult and took a piece of candy from a pick and mix box and ate it so I gave him the look and he said 'alright one piece' to me but everyone else there with me overheard what he said and we fucking emptied the place

Length? Well he did seem to work there for long
(Sat 10th Nov 2007, 3:04, More)

» Why I was late

i hit my head
on a lamp post.
(Sun 1st Jul 2007, 12:32, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

make them cry
I have the gift to just let lose and tell people every thing I think is bad about them when i'm upset with someone

in my old school there justed to be a pond and thins little kid was pissing about annoying me like hell so I started pushing him about this went on for about 2weeks ween I could tell he was just as pissed off with me as I was with him, him being about 7years old he started to break half crying so the inevitable happened just to show him not to piss with me I pick him up and trow him in the pond headfirst he has had enough standing with water up the neck crying hysterically waving his arm around half the school laughing at him I'm getting all the glory

I finished what he started.

Brad, if your still around I don't regret a thing I bet you do
(Sat 28th Apr 2007, 19:49, More)