b3ta.com user brianftang
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Profile for brianftang:
Profile Info:

I've been here a very long time.

I'm a novelist. I do other writing and photoshop stuff for money.

Visit my website if you want to get in contact www.brianedwards.co.uk

Or buy something www.brianftang.co.uk

Recent front page messages:

"I've seen things you people would never believe... three old men travelling down hill in a bathtub..."
Roy Batty
(Thu 15th Dec 2022, 15:19, More)


(Mon 28th Sep 2020, 15:38, More)

(Mon 24th Aug 2020, 15:49, More)

(Tue 30th Apr 2019, 18:29, More)

(Tue 12th Jun 2018, 16:55, More)


*Scrolls down* oo mindpiss.
(Thu 26th Oct 2017, 10:43, More)

Was Tealord's idea and I had a quiet lunch, so...
(Mon 17th Jul 2017, 14:40, More)


(Thu 30th Jun 2016, 18:52, More)

(Wed 8th Jun 2016, 19:43, More)

Budget models...

(Thu 3rd Sep 2015, 20:18, More)

Digging this out again, happy crimbo all...

(Tue 24th Dec 2013, 16:42, More)

(Fri 2nd Nov 2012, 20:04, More)

(Thu 22nd Dec 2011, 14:41, More)


(Thu 22nd Dec 2011, 11:04, More)

(Sat 29th Oct 2011, 15:47, More)

Boo!... More!...

(Sat 23rd Apr 2011, 22:32, More)

(Sun 23rd Jan 2011, 13:29, More)

Sean was very happy with his replacement Bez

(Mon 5th Oct 2009, 21:02, More)

very fond of Wimbledon...

(Mon 27th Jul 2009, 21:21, More)

(Mon 15th Jun 2009, 20:24, More)

(Wed 12th Mar 2008, 23:52, More)

(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 13:30, More)

poor thing, he's stuck

(Sun 18th Mar 2007, 12:23, More)

(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 12:07, More)

(Sat 26th Nov 2005, 13:21, More)

art related things..

bandwidth issues being sorted...
(Sat 5th Nov 2005, 2:02, More)

where the eggs come from...

my T-Shirt shop at Spice
(Wed 15th Jun 2005, 11:22, More)

new cover released...

(Sat 12th Mar 2005, 20:22, More)

"the kitty chunks are mine, or I help you not"

(Tue 7th Sep 2004, 12:26, More)

you want some?

(Sun 25th Jan 2004, 1:19, More)

after the fiasco with the clothes, the Emperor should've known better than to order a new plane

(Tue 12th Aug 2003, 17:26, More)

this one didn't work quite as well

(Tue 22nd Apr 2003, 22:02, More)

headline that possibly happened sometime twenty years ago...

click to go large

More of a broadsheet kind of thing really
/edit FP'd! jesus, and for such low level shopping! cheers
(Sun 13th Apr 2003, 19:27, More)

is that what happened next?

could be!
(Sun 27th Oct 2002, 0:46, More)

evidence of disagreement?

(Sun 20th Oct 2002, 16:26, More)

when i was a kid

i really thought this was what builders were talking about
(Sun 20th Oct 2002, 0:11, More)

bagpuss couldn't get used to contacts

(Thu 12th Sep 2002, 13:01, More)

comedy fundamentalist antics...

(Mon 9th Sep 2002, 9:25, More)

oooooh have you brought presents?

(Fri 6th Sep 2002, 15:06, More)

very very old joke
Chairman Miaow! Boom Boom! ...i'll get me coat.

sorry for quality, don't have photoshop at work so i'm working with ms paint and photo editor
(Thu 29th Aug 2002, 12:18, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

Production of the play Peter Pan at the National Theatre, about 8 years ago.
Right at the end of the play there is a moment where Peter comes back to the nursery and discovers the now grown up Wendy's daughter fast asleep. He takes out his dagger and holds it above the innocent sleeping child's head poised to act his revenge on Wendy for growing up. It's a tense and quite dark moment and the whole theatre was silent. Apart from, that is, a small girl in the back of the Circle, who was obviously very caught up in Peter's thought process and shouted, very clearly "DO IT!". Much laughter from the rest of the audience.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 11:23, More)

» Stupid Tourists

I work in a theatre box office.
My favourite comment came when an American gentleman on a telephone call said "Can you please slow down, we don't speak English".
(Thu 7th Jul 2005, 18:01, More)

» Misunderstood

when i was a kid the family was sat having dinner one night
when my younger sister, aged 12, suddenly announced "I'm pregnant." There was a shocked pause and me and my Mum and Dad simultaneously exclaimed "you're pregnant??!?" to which my nonplussed sister replied "no, I said 'pass the ketchup'."

I don't know how we all misheard her so completely. But all three of us did.
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 11:08, More)

» Weddings

My mate's wedding was a pretty religious affair being, as he and his wife are, evangelical christians.
The service and reception took place in the hall that doubles as their church. Needless to say the majority of the people there were of a very christian bent too.
Two things however really stick in my memory from the day. The first was that the music that the bride and groom walked down the aisle to after they were pronounced man and wife was Jump Around by the House of Pain.
Second was that the pastor who had lead the service also did the father of the bride speech as the bride's real father was no longer alive, and her mother was over from the Czech republic and didn't speak English. No real shock there, until he started talking about the groom's responsibilities and the honeymoon and hoping that the groom had "packed the vaseline". There was a bit of a shocked pause after that one.
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 0:55, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

i've got some spare Drogna
that were made for The Adventure Game, but were never used on screen.
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 15:28, More)
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