» Cross Dressing

Hello, my name's EricPhillips and I'm a cross-dresser
Contrary to what my username might suggest, I'm actually a girl. However, I am a 6'1" girl with an interest in amateur dramatics. Now in our area, amdram seems to be about as popular with men as ballet is with builders, so I have oft played men. Most recently I've been a male convict, a neurotic Irish hangman and a policeman.

However, my first experience of crossdressing was for a club night at The Hippo Club in Cardiff (god rest it's techno soul) where they had tranvestite DJs and anyone cross-dressing got in free. A workmate of mine and I went as a couple - he in a pretty lacy cardigan, curly auburn wig and tiny miniskirt with Cat boots and I in one of my dad's suits with a drag-king moustache. Whilst we both got in free, he had a better night than me as after about an hour I lost him only to later find him exchanging oral fluids with some woman in the corner.

It was only later that he told me that the woman in question was a) e'd off her face, b) a lesbian and c)so shocked when she reached under his skirt and found his cock that she nearly knocked him out.

In the copping off stakes, I don't know if that counts as a good result or not?
(Mon 19th Mar 2007, 20:13, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Not me, but my cousin...
My cousin is a manager for a major telecommunications and internet provider that shall remain nameless. In her earlier days as a team leader, she had the pleasure of managing a middle aged woman who we shall call Andrea for the sake of preserving her skanky integrity. Not only was this woman unspeakably vile in manner, she also had a serious case of what our American friends might call "cooties". Only for real, rather than imaginary girl/boy germs we all get hung up on as kids. By all accounts, she minged on levels that human beings holding down responsible jobs should not be allowed to ming. She had mousy hair that was greasy and lank on account of the lack of washing and black, black grime underneath all her fingernails. Her hands were always filthy and her clothes covered in bits of food and general non-specific stains.

But the icing on the cake was the lice. All over her hair. On a woman of almost 40 years of age.

My cousin came to realise that the reason Andrea's fingernails were always so filthy was because she was constantly scratching her head and picking up what can only be described as nit shit. On one occasion whilst talking to her on work matters, my cousin watched in open-mouthed horror as a louse of almost half a centimetre in length vacated Andrea's hairline and went on a trek across her forehead. You could see the bastard things from feet away they were so big, and once she'd noticed them (and pointed them out to her colleagues, naturally), they realised that her head was pretty much a crawling mass from the hairline up.

After a referral to Personnel she was suspended pending a wash and a serious de-lousing. What makes it even more unbelievable was that she faked a letter from her doctor to say she'd been treated to come back into work when she hadn't been. Even if I'd been chemically peeled in a bath of acid there's no way I would ever return to a workplace from which I was suspended for being a stinky fucker, particularly if I had done nothing to improve my personal hygiene. It would appear she was quite attached to her little friends, and eventually the company had to let her go.

Oh and by the way rogerzilla, can I recommend keeping hold of the paper towel that you used to dry your hands after your toilet soujourn (or a piece of loo roll) to open the door and disposing of it later rather than sullying yourself with other people's door-handle arse-germs? Works for me
(Thu 22nd Mar 2007, 19:10, More)

» Other people's diaries

Erm, Weapon-X
I think that you need to find someone to report that to. In a legal way. Soon. I fear that by remaining silent you may be complicit, even if this guy's unsavoury stash was unwitting.

For my own part, I recently re-read my own teenage diary after discovering it in a box that had lain unopened for many years and I was almost tempted to study quantum mechanics for the pure purpose of inventing a time machine to go back in time and off myself to put myself and the friends and family of the pubescent me out of our collective misery.

When I was 13, I fancied Eric Idle and had press clippings of Jason Donovan stuck into the cover for fucks sake. In what way is that normal behaviour?
(Tue 6th Feb 2007, 22:34, More)

» Picky Eaters

Fruit in things
My cousin has a violent aversion to fruit in things. Fruit is fine. Things are fine. She just can't abide fruit in things.

Take, for example, rapberry pavlova. She likes cream, meringue and raspberries, but she can't eat a pavlova because the raspberries have touched the rest. She won't eat a fruit tart, hates jam with seeds in and rarely troubles a gateau.

For my own part, I quite seriously dislike raisins. I hate Christmas pudding, Christmas cake, wedding cake and all of that ilk, yet give me a mince pie and I'm happier than a pig in shit. Go figure.
(Fri 2nd Mar 2007, 14:51, More)