» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

I've started a crane rental business
It wasn't going well at first, but business is picking up.
(Sat 9th Oct 2021, 19:46, More)

» Childhood Ambitions

I still do, you know.
When I was younger than I am now, I wanted to grow up to be a monkey. COME ON WHO HASN'T WANTED A TAIL AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. I know I have.
(Sun 1st Apr 2007, 21:42, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

Birthday party fun
I was turning 9, as I remember it. None of my friends had yet arrived, and we were putting up balloons by the side of the house. I went in to the back yard for some more balloons, and glanced at the pigeons that had collected under our birdfeeder. (Pigeons are far too large to use most birdfeeders, but they are happy to pick up dropped bits and pieces from under them.)

Out from the bushes jumps our neighbours' fat, usually lethargic tabby cat. Who eats one of the birds. Right in front of me. Of course, a pigeon does not well fit into a cat's mouth, resulting in one wing remaining outside the cat, flapping frantically, and quite a sound. The cat ran off leaving a trail of blood and feathers. And part of a severed wing. We never bothered telling the neighbours, but we swept up the feathers and blood as best we could before guests arrived.

I can't remember sleeping that night.
(Sat 23rd Jun 2007, 4:37, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Or, you know, you could destroy the powerful people.
Fight war, not wars. Destroy power, not people.

Not creative or anything, but meaningful. On a bridge. Some idiot took a terrible photo and put text on it but you can see it here.
(Sun 6th May 2007, 3:05, More)