» Council Cunts

Lovely Lytham St Annes
I live just outside of Blackpool in sunny St Annes and we have one of the most retarded councils in the world. What follows is a genuine story (printed everywhere but this txt is lifted from the Times):

"A pensioner who lives beside the seaside has been warned by his council that he faces a heavy fine for fly-tipping if he returns windblown sand in his garden back to the beach.

Arthur Bulmer, 79, has long complained of sand drifting on to his property on the fore-shore at Lytham St Anne’s, in Lancashire, but this year’s gales have exacerbated the problem.

When he asked Fylde Borough Council if it was permissible to return the sand where it came from, he was told it would constitute fly-tipping. He should treat it as litter and take it to the municipal refuse tip. The council told him that they happily clear sand deposited on the public highway but once it lands on private property it becomes the responsibility of the owners.

He pensioner says that he has no alternative but to pay a specialist waste disposal firm to collect his unwanted sand and take it away."

And I pay £900 a year Council tax (oh and business rates) to these fuckwits ?!
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 12:21, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

When I'm really bored...
...I run off to the loos for a J. Arthur. The hard part is maintaining an erection walking from my porn filled pc to the toilet. 'Cos obv. I wouldn't wank at my desk - that would be gross.
(Thu 9th Aug 2007, 14:47, More)

» The worst sex I ever had

Plymouth oh Plymouth !!!
Was giving a lady a good old seeing to when a local lady of the night came around the corner. By this point my lass was on her knees giving me some oral pleasure - only to be told by said prostitute to fuck off and find her own patch ! Oh how we laughed (And I did more later since I don't think the implication sunk into the mind of the lady I was seeing !).

Not bad sex I guess just odd ?
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 10:58, More)

» We have to talk

All about
Eve are to blame. As a student I was dating one of the hottest girls in college - hard to believe but I'm sure it wasn't a dream - after a frenzied bout of love making we lay there listening to Julianne Regan's band warbling the words to "Never promise anyone forever". I romanticaly took her in my arms and muttered the fateful words - "Promise me forever..." to which she replied "Right I think we need to talk". Fucksocks I think is the phrase.

Size ? Well she didn't complain at the time but in retrospect it might have been an issue.
(Fri 20th Apr 2007, 9:48, More)

» Why I was late

Late for work...
I once managed a call centre and a girl (whom I had ugandan relations with but thats another story) gave her excuse for being half an hour late "Sorry I was watching neighbours". I was so dumfounded by her honesty that I jst mumbled "Yeah okay then...".

Length ? She didn't complain but moaned a lot !
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 11:35, More)