b3ta.com user kintore_homeboy
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» Mistaken Identity

I'm often mistaken for a 14y/o school girl...
until the paedophiles track me down and find out I'm a police constable.
(Wed 6th Jun 2007, 13:43, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Heinous guilty pleasure...
Sometimes I like to recount stories off QotW and tell non-b3tans them as if they are my own.

the shame...
the shame!
(Mon 17th Mar 2008, 13:14, More)

» Council Cunts

Victory for the masses!
Me and my mate were doing a bit of research (creative by-word for wandering around) when we found this on a pub window sill.

If you happen to be a parking warden for hackney council and you want your cap back drop me a line!

(edit - I'm not the grinning prick in the picture, I'm far more attractive)
(Fri 27th Jul 2007, 15:15, More)

» Kids

The first time I felt old
I was in Sweden visiting my (now ex) girlfriend over easter. Her family were round and we were all looking forward to some pickled herring with extra pickles for sunday dinner.
In an effort to ingratiate myself with her family (and eventually her pants) I decided to spend a bit of time with her 2 young cousins.
Tom and Jonas were about the 7 year old mark and couldn't speak very good english (although, even at their age they woefully rang rings around me in the 'learning a foreign language' stakes). I saw they had recently got guitar hero and being only 21 at the time I thought I'd take it easy on them.
What was to follow was a humiliation on a grand scale. It was as if they were the spawn of Jimi Hendrix and Axle Rose. I, however, bore a resemblance to a leper with Parkinson's.
They laughed at me and said things in a foreign language that I didn't understand. I felt sad.
Apparently I had also agreed to a bet, where if I lost I would have to eat a whole packet of salted liquorish. To them a tasty treat but like eating salty rubber to any non-scandinavians.
Being outstripped by some ankle biters made me realise my failing and I felt like my dad must have when I first kicked his ass on Super Mario all those years ago.

Click I like this if you think that all children are planning the downfall of their adult suppressors.

Length? 2cm, black and salty.
(Fri 18th Apr 2008, 11:47, More)

» Cheap Tat

Present for dad - not cheap but certainly useless.
I work for my dad and one day decided to by him a gift.
It was a snip at $580million and now daddy has a shiny new social networking site called Myspace.

Unfortunately no one uses it any more and it's worth diddly squat!



James Murdoch
(Tue 8th Jan 2008, 12:59, More)
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