» Well, that taught 'em

That taught her to get smart with me!
I used to work in a SPAR-type convenience shop.

I had a queue of customers that I was serving when a woman walked in smoking a cigarette.

This was 5 years ago - I would have thought that it was fairly obvious that it was no longer acceptable to smoke in shops, but no; in she came, puffing away.

"Could you put that out, or take it outside please?" Said I.

"Why? Doesn't say I can't smoke in here on the door." Says Chavella.

"..." Says I, stumped, as I realised we actually _didn't_ have a no smoking sign on the door anymore.

"Besides, you sell cigarettes don't you?" She said.

"That may well be the case, madam," I said,

"But I should point out we also sell condoms."
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 17:10, More)

» "Needless to say, I had the last laugh"

Pea roast tiem.
I used to work in a SPAR-type convenience shop.
I had a queue of customers that I was serving when a woman walked in smoking a cigarette.
This was 7 10 years ago - I would have thought that it was fairly obvious that it was no longer acceptable to smoke in shops, but no; in she came, puffing away.
"Could you put that out, or take it outside please?" Said I.
"Why? Doesn't say I can't smoke in here on the door." Says Chavella.
"..." I said, stumped, as I realised we actually didn't have a no smoking sign on the door anymore.
"Besides, you sell cigarettes don't you?" She said.
"That may well be the case, madam," I said,
"But I should point out we also sell condoms."
(Thu 3rd Feb 2011, 13:08, More)

» Customers from Hell

Pea roast time
I used to work in a SPAR-type convenience shop.

I had a queue of customers that I was serving when a woman walked in smoking a cigarette.

This was 7 years ago - I would have thought that it was fairly obvious that it was no longer acceptable to smoke in shops, but no; in she came, puffing away.

"Could you put that out, or take it outside please?" Said I.

"Why? Doesn't say I can't smoke in here on the door." Says Chavella.

"..." I said, stumped, as I realised we actually _didn't_ have a no smoking sign on the door anymore.

"Besides, you sell cigarettes don't you?" She said.

"That may well be the case, madam," I said,

"But I should point out we also sell condoms."
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 15:13, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

I'll slot this one in here...
Although not strictly public transport, it does involve international borders...

Over the years I've spent a fair amount of time travelling between the UK and the Czech republic.

Overland.

26-ish hours straight on a chartered bus full of wannabe rock stars and groupies, and that in itself has led to some pretty interesting experiences.

However, the one that sticks prominently in the mind is this; Coming out of CZ into Germany, which was always a trial (now you just sail through...), early hours of the morning having finished a gig several hours previously (finish the pint, load the gear, get on board).
We'd been waiting at the border for a while as we paid the various bribes when we noticed the interest being paid to the next coach over.

It's heading into Germany and appears to be full of young, teenage girls.

Curious...

It looked like the border guards suspicions were aroused (steady) too because all the girls were ordered off the bus and the hold was opened up and the contents pulled out on to the tarmac.

They had presumably been asked to prove that they weren't evil human traffickers, carting these girls to some sordid brothel somewhere which meant they were going to have to back up their cover story.

Which is how we, after a week of rock and roll excess, just beginning to sober up, ended up at 3 in the morning at a bleak international crossing point in the middle of nowhere, being treated to a full marching band and majorette display, complete with pom-poms and baton twirling.

Happy times...
(Tue 3rd Jun 2008, 20:50, More)

» Siblings

I went with my parents and brother (related post, honest) to see the Grandparents yesterday
Had a lovely day.

However, it turns out that another branch of the family (my grandmother's brother's son's wife; my first-cousin-once-removed) is trying to set up a get together so the family can stay in touch. My side of the family has never met this other lot, despite being so closely related (relatively) and her father (my grandmother's brother; keep up!) recently died so she's keen to organise this a.s.a.p.

Anyhoo, this comes up in conversation yesterday and there is some serious suggestion that I might like to come along as there are three lovely daughters. I got the distinct impression I was being match-made with one of my second cousins.

That said, having seen the photos, I can confirm that they are HOT! Yes: their mother sent my grandparents for Christmas a digital photo frame mostly full of pictures of, I kid you not, the three lovely daughters.

So the question is this: how wrong is it for me to seriously consider boning my own second cousins? Preferably all three at once.

Also, am I actually living sometime in the eighteenth century?

Since this is b3ta I should probably point out that they are all of legal age...
(Mon 29th Dec 2008, 11:22, More)