b3ta.com user Go on
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for Go on:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Turning into your parents

Ma belly
Fuck you, slow metabolism, fuck you.

How fucking dare you let me develop a beer-belly. How fucking dare you. I sort out the pies and the beer, you burn the fuckers off, that was the deal. None of this watch what you eat and drink crap, that was for the other people. We were perfect, we were slim, and now you've gone and given me bitch tits.

Fuck you, slow metabolism, fuck you indeed.
(Thu 30th Apr 2009, 15:51, More)

» Turning into your parents

Crossing the rubicon
I, at the age of 33, can no longer get excited about the current state of music.

There, I've said it.

I can't pin-point exactly when I stopped caring, but it only happened recently; 12 months ago I was fine. I'm hoping to god it's all the re-hashed 80s stuff that's leaving me so meh, but what if it isn't? What if it's my age?

(Thu 30th Apr 2009, 14:37, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Mile End Park

"G.Fawkes is innocent"

Painted with white emulsion in 2 foot high letters on a railway bridge by Mile End Park in East London.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 13:34, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Paul the Loose Bowelled
Ahh, Paul the Loose Bowelled; the shitting stories are endless. There's the time he shat himself in Greenwich park in broad day light after a simple afternoon's drinking. There's the time he didn't quite making it back to his flat in time and shat himself in the street whilst wearing shorts. Again, in broad daylight. There's the time he stepped into the kitchen freshly showered with n'er but a towel round his waist, farted and followed through all over the floor. There's even the time he shat the bed with his girlfriend in it. But my personal favourite is when he bowed out early on an evening's session due to being paralytic. When we got back to his flat we found him passed out on the floor, jeans and underwear round his ankles and a skid mark two feet long on the carpet. Whether the skiddy was created in the confusion of the initial drunken rush to the bog or when staggering back and passing out on the return journey has never been firmly established.

A truely skanky individual. And that's without discussing the STDs
(Wed 28th Mar 2007, 16:53, More)

» Filth!

Notting Hill Carnival

Notting Hill Carnival, sometime during the late 90s. Nipped into a heaving pub for a quick beer before heading on, thought I'd release some of the pressure whilst there and joined the end of the piss queue. Grim bit? The poor chap engaged in the Sisyphean task of bailing the blocked urinal trench out into a sink, armed with naught but an empty pint glass and a cheerful grin, whilst the never-ending stream of drunk blokes carried on filling it back up.

Those who could still focus at least tried not to splash him.
(Mon 6th Feb 2012, 16:28, More)
[read all their answers]