b3ta.com user AlfishKK
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» Pet Peeves

Slow people
I hate when people walk slowly in front of me. I often follow as closely as possible while doing my zombie routine--drag a leg, hold arms out stiffly, let my head loll around--just to show them that a zombie would be faster than them.

No one seems to notice they are being tailed by the walking dead, actually.
(Tue 6th May 2008, 9:03, More)

» Too much information

This is something that I haven't told anyone... My friend told me this in strict confidence.

It was about a year ago, and I just recently lost my virginity to a lovely man whom I am still with. We hadn't so much as kissed anyone before each other, and used a condom, so worries about STDs and the like were pretty well nonexistent. Nonetheless, when I told my friend about my new status as a non-virgin, I was still lectured about STDs and being careful... Apparently she had experience in this department.

Her boyfriend had done the deed with a filthy tramp-like girl shortly before being with my friend, and from said tramp he'd caught HPV--genital warts. Naturally, the clever bastard neglected to tell my friend before she slept with him. Result? She now had warts too.

Learning this much wasn't too bad. When she began to explain how the doctors used a device that "looked like a hole-punch" on her lady parts, I was all right with this. Descriptions of the blood, pain, etc., these I could handle.

But when she told me she used to freeze the tutu-like ring of puffy warts off her boyfriend's penis with stolen liquid nitrogen from the lab in which she worked... Really, that was FAR too much information.
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 2:03, More)

» The worst sex I ever had

Morning sex
We're still new to this, the boy and I, and when we were a lot newer we woke up together and, for some reason, decided to go at it. I think we both had it in our heads that the other person wanted it, only neither did.

It was just lousy. We were trying a new position that completely failed to stimulate either one of us. He went soft, I went dry, and after about 15 minutes of bored, painful thrusting, the condom broke.

We called it quits at that, and went to breakfast. We're doing quite a bit better now, fortunately.

Length? After a few minutes, there simply wasn't any.
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 11:19, More)

» Phobias

Giving blood
I don't mind needles at all, and when the doctor needs a sample of blood for tests or whatever, that's fine. However, I feel positively sick at the idea of donating blood, because:

1. That's a lot of blood.
2. It's my blood, and I made it, so it stays inside me!
3. I can't stand the thought of purposely pumping my own BLOOD out of my body!

I feel badly, because I would love to give someone my blood if they need it, and I think the idea of my blood helping someone else is really awesome. It's the idea of sitting there, pumping pints of it out of my body, that makes me ill.
(Thu 17th Apr 2008, 2:59, More)

» Shoplifting

I'm quite a law-abiding person, and the only time I ever stole was when I was in a pet store. Sitting on the desk next to the cash register, they had a little bowl of those shiny, decorative marbles that you put on the bottom of your aquarium. For some reason, I grabbed two of these and hid them in my clothes. Later, in the supermarket, I reached for a bottle of milk and they tumbled out and my mom spotted them. Of course she made me return them.

This was the same year I tried cheating on a test the first and only time. Naturally, I was caught--I was only six years old! Teenage rebellion hit me a little early.
(Mon 14th Jan 2008, 8:00, More)
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