» Housemates from hell

Ahhhh Memories...
Lived with a girl in my second year at uni, she was a friend of my other housemate (who incidentally was, and still is, lovely). Anyway...she was an evangelical christian, which I shouldn't hold against her, but I will because she was a morally superior stuck-up judgemental bitch. She thought everyone should be like her, basically. Because I wasn't a christian and had a boyfriend that I quite liked having sex with I was eeeeeeevil.

And Jesus, was she ever tight! She used to send text messages with no spaces in them to save herself the 10p an extra message would cost! Thrifty, you might think, but reading the buggers was a pain in the arse!

We'd all signed the contracts, like you do, promising to stay in this house for a year. She decided she wanted out just before Christmas (to save money, she commuted from SHEFFIELD to LEICESTER for the rest of her course), and royally stitched me and the other housemate up over just about everything.

We had to find ourselves another housemate. She did not help, nor did she care about the sort of psycho/nutter we could end up with. As it turned out, we ended up with a strange girl whose father interviewed us before he would let her live with us, but at least she was NICE.

Anyhow, said crap housemate moved out, but only after trying to reclaim a third of the money back on everything that had *ever* been jointly bought for the house (she had receipts. And one of those calculators with a little printer on it). It was when she decided that taking our food home with her would be a good idea that harsh words were exchanged, and she made her exit quite sharpish. She was trying to take our CEREAL, FFS! Our WEETABIX! I swear to this day that she took her 'share' of bog rolls with her.

I don't think I ever spoke to her again after that, even though we were on the same course she used to quite routinely blank me.

If that lot's not bad enough, she used to iron her socks and pants, which is just...wrong.


No apologies for length, it's not every day a girl loses her B3TA virginity. *pop*
(Tue 10th Apr 2007, 20:35, More)

» Council Cunts

My County Council
Back when I was at school, I was (un)lucky enough to live in the middle of nowhere, miles from the school itself, and was therefore entitled to a free bus pass to get me there and back again every day.

Yay - excepting that the bus was a 30 year old shitty double decker thing that permanently smelt like piss, leaked when it rained, and required me to sit on it for one hour each way every goddamn day. But anyway...

I was supposed to receive this bus pass every year that I went to the school, and being issued by the council it was nothing flash, just a bit of card that had been filled out by one of the council monkeys and laminated. They were supposed to send these to the school towards the end of each school year for the next one if you see what I mean, however...

They never, ever, managed to get mine to me on time. Not once from the age of 11 until the age of 18. Every single year, in September, my poor mother would have to phone them to ask where it was, be told that I wasn't entitled to it, that I was entitled to it, that it would be sent to school, to our house, to the fucking bus company...and one would eventually arrive around mid-October (I still had to catch the bus before this happened, often begging the bus driver to let me on) with the promise that it had all been noted and wouldn't happen again the next year. Fucking liars. Of course it did.

The really bad thing is that my sister started at the same school when I was in my last year there. And guess what?!? They never got her bus pass sorted out for her either!

Incompetent twats.
(Thu 2nd Aug 2007, 11:37, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Village Names...very abusable!
I live near a village called 'Uckington' in Gloucestershire, and quite regularly the village name sign is altered to read 'Fuckington', or even better, just 'Fucking'.

When I was at Uni in Leicester the village where my halls were was called 'Scraptoft', and this was often defaced by the naughty students to simply read 'crap'.

And it was. It really really was.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 18:47, More)