» Terrible food

Babysitting...
... for my little cousin one day. I found he was being very very quiet, sitting in the corner apparently playing with lego. On closer inspection he had actually been sucking on a slug. Sucking on a slug so voraciously in fact, he'd sucked it dry. It took some force to prise the corpse out of his jaw.

That's definitely the worst thing I've ever seen someone else eat at least.
(Thu 17th May 2007, 13:36, More)

» And that's the thanks I got

Merde
I spent several months pursuing a very nice bloke with whom I shared a mutual love of french cinema with. A common topic of conversation was based around the amazing film Amelie and how it'd be totally amazing to fall in love like the two main characters in the film do,(even if Amelie does seem to be a bit of a stalker.)

For those who havn't seen the film, there is one scene where Amelie dresses up as Zorro and photographs herself in a photobooth, with a time and place for the object of her desire to meet her.

So, having a zorro costume (naturally) I though what better way of asking him out? I promptly went down to the local station and whacked my costume on and took the photos. I sent them in the post that day and waited.

Two days later, he sent them back. With a very polite note explaining that he didn't fancy meeting me for a drink and actually didn't like the film much anyway.

Lovely.
(Fri 25th May 2007, 19:28, More)

» This book changed my life

The Very Hungry Caterpillar...
... is basically my bible.

It taught me about butterflies, which are kick ass. It taught me about the days of the week. It taught me how to count. It taught me that gross weird looking bastards turn out to be amazingly pretty.

But most importantly it taught me that binge-eating is fucking awesome. Particularly combining salami and cherry pie.

For this glorious education in hideous amounts of food and eating until you feel sick, I salute you, you hungry little caterpillar.

(In other news, it's been 21 years and I've been eating as much as possible and I'm still not a butterfly. I'm beginning to think it was all a clever lie.)
(Thu 15th May 2008, 17:31, More)

» We have to talk

A complete lack of "we need to talk"...
About 20 minutes ago, my friend found out her relationship had ended by her now-ex changing his status on facebook to 'single.' So now it seems you don't even have to hear the words "we need to talk" to feel like utter shit.

Cowards. What wonderful people.
(Sun 22nd Apr 2007, 14:40, More)

» Guilty Secrets

My dad...
... had spent what seemed like a whole fucking morning on the toilet and I was desperately needing a piss. Unlike my brothers, I couldn't just go and piss in the drain outside so I constructed a little toilet in my room, consisting of a plastic box and newspaper and pissed in that instead. I then kept it under my bed until everyone was out of the house and I could clean it.


I did get my own back though. I once spent so long in the bath that my dad had to shit in a bucket.
(Fri 31st Aug 2007, 13:14, More)