» Well, that taught 'em

when I was growing up
I really enjoyed karate. I started karate when I was 6, and when I was about 16 my younger brother(13) decided he wanted to pick a fight with me. He would be very nasty, say horrible things, punch and kick me, whatever he could think of to get into a fight.

I would never hit back, but each time he started I would warn him that one day I would hit him back.

Then one day I did. I punched him once, the only punch I have ever thrown outside of training. He fell over (it was a great punch!). He stood up.

He NEVER picked a fight with me again.

That taught him a lesson!
(Thu 26th Apr 2007, 15:39, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

I left, but my manager should be fired for this!
About a year ago I started working for a nice little company, not too far from home. It was a branch office and our head office was based about 600 kilometers away. So everyday felt like a "boss is away" day.

Anyhoo, after six months of dilligently working for them, I came to the realisation that my manager was a dirty old man, and unfortunately I was VERY attracted to him.
So I decided that I could not have an affair with my manager and still work there.

WELL, He should be fired, he has spent the past six weeks swopping dirty pictures with me during office hours. Not to mention the extended "late lunches" we have been having at the local pub.

I am very naughty and should be spanked :)
(Fri 10th Aug 2007, 7:13, More)

» Terrible food

the thought makes me gag
When I was dating my first steady boyfriend, Quentin, he used to create a monstrosity of gastonomic terror.

Gushmush (gush-for that was his surname, and mush because to call it anything else would be lieing).

Basically he would take a large bowl, empty a can of baked beans into it, slop in a few tablespoons of mayonaise, slices of cocktail sausages and cover it with cheese. He would then stick in the microwave on high until the cheese had melted.

He would then stir it up and serve it.
*shudder*
(Fri 18th May 2007, 14:04, More)

» Mad Stuff You've Done To Get Someone To Sleep With You

It took a bit of convincing
When I finished high school I flew to Isreal (from South Africa) to be with my boyfriend of the time. It only took him a few days to tell me that he had cheated on me eight times during the few months he was there without me.

My brain hatched a master plan.

When we returned home from our orange-picking and clothes folding kibbutz time in Israel I set about systematically seducing his *Amazingly* sexy best friend, while at the same time wearing down said boyfriend's possessiveness until I managed to convince them both that a threesome was a great idea.

The best part is that the gorgeouse best friend was a GOD in the sack and not adverse to a few more romantic encounters.

:D
(Fri 13th Apr 2007, 13:14, More)