b3ta.com user Rem
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Profile for Rem:
Profile Info:

Location: Socal, USA
Disposition: Not nearly as grumpy as I usually sound.

I like cooking, and old books, and that 'new hardware' smell at Fry's. I also play MMOs sometimes.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My most gullible moment

Just thought of this!

In high school, some friends and I managed to convince a girl that the word for lizard was in fact not lizard, but melon. (In her defense, she had come to the US only a few years prior, but was still quite fluent...)

As priceless as her excited yell of "A melon! Look, a melon just went into the bushes!" was, I can only imagine the looks of constipated bewilderment we must have sported as we tried our best not to fall over laughing.

I don't think we ever actually told her. I really hope no one has.
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 0:21, More)

» Helicopter Parents

But are you sure?
When I was little and in primary and secondary school, I hung out with the 'smart' kids, as I was in some sort of advanced program. That was fine and acceptable. In my first or second year of college I found a job at a small retail store in a nearby mall, and I'm very close with some of the people I met there to this day. This was decidedly Not Fine - god forbid someone should work behind a register and try to earn a bit of pocket change.

I suppose I was exempt from their scathing generalizations, being their only child, but anyone else who'd ever worked in the mall was obviously a worthless good-for-nothing who'd never be anything more than a lowly register monkey, doomed to their one job for all eternity. I wish I was exaggerating.

I even invited a couple of them over to meet my parents once - dumb idea but I'd figured if they'd gotten to know them, they'd see that they were perfectly nice. My father grilled them for an hour on the universities they were attending and whether or not they were accredited. I got an earful after they left, for hanging around 'people who'd never gone to a proper school'. Oh, and they were smokers, and liked videogames and the occasional refreshing alcoholic beverage. Worst of all, they were men, and everyone knows proper girls don't have male friends.

The horror.

Anyway - my mother was and still is the more open-minded one, but was worried when I began getting 'too close' to one aforementioned friend. We joke about being married and will do couple-y things in public like hugging or holding hands, but as he's gay it's just harmless fun and keeps anyone from trying to pick up either of us (ok, it's never happened to me, but it could...someday...maybe). Which preceded the following conversation:

Mom: I want to talk to you.
Me: Yes?
Mom: It's about that...boy. Are you sure you're not...you know?
Me: rolling eyes I'm sure. We're not "you know". He's gay.
Mom: Really?
Me: Yes, don't worry about it. We're just friends.
Mom: But are you sure he's gay?
Me: I'm sure.
Mom: You should be careful around men, you know. Anyway, are you really sure he's gay?
Me: Argh

No mum, he's only been going to gay bars and bringing men home because it could all be some wild elaborate plan to get in my pants. Because the first thing I'd do after being told that one of my best friends had been lying about himself for years, just to seduce me, would be to dive into a passionate whirlwind relationship full of sex and more sex. Right? Of course.
(Mon 14th Sep 2009, 16:37, More)

» Personal Ads

I don't need dating sites,
I've met enough socially-inept boys in real life.

I promised I wasn't going to submit another lame qotw answer, but I can't resist...

1. Claimed to be a black belt in karate, came to the anime club meetings that I was the president of (should probably go in the 'guilty secrets' qotw) and tried to sit next to me so he could put his head in my lap--wtf? When I declined to date/shag him, he wrote me threatening emails ('going to smash your face into the ground', 'beat you to a pulp', etc). Then self-deprecating, apology-laden emails ('sorry for saying you were lower than dirt, forgive me', etc). Haven't heard from him in several years though, so it turned out all right.

2) Had stinky feet, followed me around campus and tried to copy everything I did. Started taking up smoking around the time I met him--he did too. Said I would change my major--so did he. Mentioned I might try to transfer to a better school--guess what he said the next day? He still IMs me when he's drunk. Eurgh, at least I don't have to see him around school anymore.

3) Crazy looking skinhead type, met through a mutual friend who I in turn met in a comic store (*adds to 'list of places I should no longer go unattended'*). Frequently tried hinting at me how 'liberating' it was to 'sleep around' (his actual words). Later tried bribing me for sex with a PS2, though he never explicitly mentioned that was what it was for--so, kept the console, and never saw him again. Later received threatening emails and IMs, which went ignored.

4) This one, I actually met online, but -not- via a dating site. If I wasn't online for a day, I'd get something like this: "*GLOMP* OMG, where have you been?! I missed you ^_^ *snuggle* *cuddle*" Ok, so not as bad as some...but as I began to talk to him more and more (bored, at work, no one else to speak to) the conversation would turn into "Do you/will you ever love me? If I made a lot of money, would you love me? If [insert hypothetical situation here] would you love me?" Gahhh, can we talk about something else? --To which he'd reply, "Ok, pick a topic." I don't know about you, but how many people are so devoid of conversation material that they actually have to -say-, "All right, I've nothing to discuss. Are there any topics on which you have an opinion you would like to share?"

Arrrrgh, sometimes I wonder if it's me or if it's them...

(Apologies for length/lack of filthy, kinky sex stories.)
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 17:36, More)

» Impulse buys

Oh, the memories.
- Ticket to Blizzcon '08. What a fucking nerd.

As it turned out, an old highschool friend was getting married on the second day of the con - had to hop a train, train was an hour late, arrived just in time to look like an idiot trying to barge in on their ceremony, felt flustered and embarrassed so had a quick cig and a cry, and then had to catch the train back, tottering all the way in high heels that hadn't been properly broken in. Did I mention that I'm a rumpled, hobo-y mess at the best of times? Didn't even get to have any of the undoubtedly delicious dinner, and is there another reason to attend the blasted things?

- A handful of commemorative spoons from various "noteworthy" places. One being the Coca-Cola factory from Godknowswhere. Can't remember now; makes them rather pointless really.

- A pack of cigarettes, which jump-started my habit. Damn it all.

- A miniature (about 12" long) shopping cart. I actually like this one. It just sits on my dresser looking amusing.

- About a million bags and pairs of shoes. I had a tire burst on the freeway once and had to call for a tow truck, as I know about as much about cars as Death knows about lowercase letters. I was suitably horrified when the nice man turned up and popped the trunk to reveal three large shopping bags worth of shoes - all mine - that I'd abandoned in there over the course of several weeks, as I would inevitably run out of the house in the morning barefoot, shoes in one hand, keys in the other, bag and other accoutrements balanced in the crook of one arm. I also didn't know the spare was under the carpet. I'm sure I'm blonde in every sense but the literal.

- A 300$ ring. I wear it every day, though, and love it, so I have to admit I don't think it's a waste.

- Lots of clothes that I should have realized wouldn't fit.

- About 800$ in computer parts. Now, I wouldn't say I regret it (too much), but one might think that food would have been a priority at the time, as I was living on rice, condiments, and the occasional goodwill of my friends. No? Well then.

- Two 'commemorative' postcards off eBay, to the tune of about 60$. Horrifyingly enough, I was sober at the time.
(Thu 21st May 2009, 23:45, More)

» The Boss

His favorite joke
which would be repeated every day without fail was,

What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow?

[Said in a singsong voice] Brown-chicken-brown-cow...

Well, we did laugh a bit to humor him the first time.
(Fri 19th Jun 2009, 21:58, More)
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