b3ta.com user r2b2
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» Abusing freebies

Food Trade Shows
I work in a petrol station, and a few months ago my boss took me with his family to a well known food distribution company's trade show up north somewhere (well I don't remember exactly where it was, but it was cold so I presumed!)

A co-worker and I spent a good 4 hours wandering around this giant hall place, picking up any consumable in eye-sight. Seriously, it was like legalised stealing in that place. Sometimes you had to talk to a rep for a couple of minutes and pretend to be interested so you could have a "sample" of each of their products.

All of the big food and drink companies were there, and didnt really care if you just filled a carrier bag with any crisps or chocolate on display. Stranger products included 2 tablets of herbal viagra, a giant tin of Heinz beans (think industrial sized!) and a 24 item case of Rustlers burgers!

We would wander over to the "promotion girls" by the door (giving them a wink on the way!) to get a new carrier bag, do some strategic wandering, and take armfuls of bags back to the car when you REALLY couldnt manage to fit another kitkat in!

Halfway through this, there was a big sit-down meal with a basket of free drinks in the middle (which I cleared into a new bag!). After filling my belly with some lovely hot food, I carried on ransacking the place. As we went on the last day, the companies didnt want to take the stuff home and were just giving you bagfuls of stuff!

Got a car full of bags (boot, rear seats, parcel shelf removed) and trundled back to the sunny South with my haul. I emptied everything into 2 giant boxes when I got home. Had a quick price up and found I had well over £400 worth of sweets, crisps, drinks, lighters, tshirts, cakes, biscuits and more!

I still have half a drawer full of stuff (I can't stand fizzy/sour sweets, so the"Toxic Waste" range of sweets are still there if anyone's interested!

Need to secure my tickets for next year now ;-)
(Fri 9th Nov 2007, 0:14, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Juggling goth!
I work in a quiet country petrol station where the job opportunities are few and far between.

About a year ago we took on an 18 year old who dresses like death! Black leather trench coat, long hair, guy-liner, leather trousers (!), red contact lenses, the works!

It was great when he first started as I "trained" him, meaning sitting around the majority of the time waiting for him to make a mistake so I can jump in and help. Training is great!

Then he started juggling!

All the time!

He'd be serving customers with one hand, while juggling 3 light-up LED balls with the other. Even when there was a queue, the show had to go on! Some of the young girls loved him, and he had a nice little following.

It all ended in tears (literally!) when he didn't open up the shop one day. When he was called by the manager. Apparently, he'd gone to goth pub with his mates, and they'd left without him, drunk with no money about 20 miles from home (these specialist pubs being few and far between in the country) at 4 in the morning with 2 hours to get home and open/sober up.

He cried on the phone.

He never came back.

I'll miss training that guy!
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 18:43, More)

» Sleepwalking

When I was about 5...
I woke up stood at the top of the stairs, outside my mum's bedroom, just after leaving a juicy curler on the carpet. Even worse, it was winter and therefore FREEZING cold in my house, transferring my "curler" into a "steamer" as soon as the light was turned on!

Also woke up emptying my bladder down said stairs, outside said room!
(Wed 22nd Aug 2007, 22:35, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

6th Form...
...were the best years of my life!

Highlights include:

1. Agreeing to have a homemade blowdart made from a lolly stick, a long needle and a 5p for ballast shot into my chest through my uniform. I wimped out at the last minute and tried to shield myself. The blood running from my arm was quite worrying after that!

2. Waiting until it was quiet in the common room and then arranging all the chairs in a long line and playing "Gauntlet" on them i.e. One person has to get from one end to the other without being thrown over the top of the chairs by 3/4 others!

3. Waiting for a DT teacher to leave the room, and then Araldite-ing her desk draw shut. As far as I know, it was never reopened!

4. Using a "Jewellery Making" project as an excuse for melting metal with a blowtorch and making crudely whittled MDF shapes moulds. I did this for 4 hours a week for a whole year and a half!

5. Putting money togeher to go on "McDonald's" runs, then having competitions to see who could eat 5 Double Cheeseburgers the fastest.

6. Tampering with a quiz buzzer system so that even if the other team pressed the button first, our bell would win. Two years in a row we won that!

7. Putting all of the common room chairs in a pile over a hungover sleeping person and using many rolls of thick parcel tape to ensure it stayed solid. "Chair Mountain" as it was christened was even pushing up the artificial roof tiles, it was that big!
(Sat 21st Jul 2007, 11:24, More)

» And that's the thanks I got

About a month ago...
...I had some coursework to hand in at uni. As a group we had to make a MIDI sequence and present it to a group of tutors.

My mate Milner felt a bit less emo one day, felt a bit love-struck and chose the song "Every Breathe You Take" by The Police as our song to work around.

Everything went well. A great drum-track and some lovely synth sections and it was sounding pretty good. Milner one day decided to be a bit charitable and let a kid join our group who had been begging for a group by email without telling me! I let him off...

Weeks pass and we are tweaking the composition to perfection, emailing this new guy to get him to come help or at least watch. He never does. We figure that he's changed his mind. The deadline looms and we've all but forgotten about him.

On the day of the presentation, we turn up an hour early as specified to setup the sequence in one of the rooms. This guy seems to be hanging around the rooms a bit. As we were called up to present, this guy literally follows us in front of the tutors. We confirm our names, and he confirms his!

The presentation goes okay (apart from me insulting one of the tutors by accident!), and this guy just stands there while we answer questions as best as we can.

When it's finally over, this unknown person says to us "Thanks for that, let me know if you need someone for the next coursework" and disappears out of the door never to be seen again.

Months pass, results come in. 68% (pretty good). Haven't heard from the guy since!

I said i'd never let random people join my group EVER again, but for the same has just happened with the new coursework! I have intentionally gone hunting for this guy, and he seems okay and sounds like he knows his stuff, fortunately!

(Thu 24th May 2007, 13:06, More)
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