b3ta.com user River of Squid
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» Terrible Parenting

Is it just me?
Right, I'm too young to have kids now, but I can imagine being 40-something and having an argument with my son/daughter.
Then, and only then, will I be rewarded for having a kid (this would be the only reason I'd have one)
kid: Fuck you dad, I hate you
Me: Haha I shagged your mum!

So is it just me?
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 23:19, More)

» Guilty Secrets

A secret to be told no one!
I'm worried that if my friends sopt this, then they will all think i'm sick and wrong, so I really don't know why i'm telling you.
Anyway,
After having a good fap, there is a bit of mess (especially around the hands) and as we know, sticky hands are awful. So i look around for something to wipe my hands on, and see my cat, sleeping softly.
So I do the sane, and utterly lazy thing: instead of getting up and finding proper towles, I wipe myself on my cat.

The worst part is that he starts cleaning himself, then spazzes out with the funny taste.
(Mon 3rd Sep 2007, 18:43, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Hmm.. my whole life?
Well, lets begin at the start, shall we?

Back when I was a young'un, about 5 or 6, I was constnatly told I am a "bright" child, it's the one memory I have, always being told i'm "bright" and that I can do anything I want.
Now all through primary school I was also bullied a fair amount, nothing like getting beaten up, but I can remember the first disappointment ever in my life, where at one point I just thought to myself "Why does no one else want to play with me" While the bullying wasn't that bad, with my lack of friends and already wondering why people don't like me, what people said really got to me and destroyed my self confidence at an early age, but I got through it, I went to high school, where the second disappointment begins.

Looking back, academically everything was fine, while my grades were never the best (mainly due to a lack of effort) I got by, chose my subjects, bullying continued, self confidence destroyed, my so called "friends" insulted me and generally saw me as a tag along and knew I wouldn't fight back due to me not wanting to be alone.

Roll on to college, (i've just finished my first year, at 16 and im rather supple compared to many) but it totally fell apart, I am lost, i'm not sure what I want to do, if I can achieve anything, I've given up, been dragged through to scrape grades and I still just don't care.

No matter what's happened in my life, no matter how bad things have got, and while me and my parents aren't exactly close, I know they would do anything for me to get me into a career I want, and they have supported me through all this.

So where is the big disappointment? Well my biggest disappointment is that i'm myself, and that anyone else in my shoes would have taken advantage of the chances I got, of having parents who'd do anything, but not me, and I honestly can't say why, but the one disappointment I have is that i'm myself, when other people who are less well off deserve far more.

I'm not lookking for pity, or for you to feel sorry for me, I know everything is brought about by myself, but at the end of the day I can't change that, no matter how much I wish I could. I recognise how my life isn't that bad, I like to think I have friends, I have a nice family, practically everything I could want, but because of who I am none of that matters.

P.S. Don't think i'm a whiney emo cnut, but even though I will never know any of you, I will never see you or hear you or do anything with you, except share stories on a forum, it's nice to be able to tell someone who I am, without fear of being judged or any pain.

(Obligitory length joke)
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 21:03, More)

» Mistaken Identity

A squid
Can you believe it? A bloody squid!
I was outraged at the clear ignorance of said person who mixed this up (a lowly octopi! ha!)

I was quite frankly shocked that someone could mistake the difference!

Those octopi can fuck off though, bloody twats.

Length? That's one of the reasons i'm damn well angry!
(Sun 3rd Jun 2007, 19:38, More)

» Pet Peeves

Well here's a few
Firstly, religious types.

Now, I accept people have religion, I think its good to believe in something (though I personally don't). Even organised religion is fine (except Scientology, that is just retardation in a cup). But when you hate someone because they don't believe in the same God you do, or think that I need to hear the words of Jesus, then that's just not on. I have no idea what happens when we die, nor do I try to have any idea, keep your views to yourself, thanks.

Teenage haters, you jsut get my goat. I am young by anyone's standards (16) but don't take that as an excuse to think I can't spell, have no understanding of the world, and worse as a person than you and that I "don't know im born". I know I haven't seen the world, I know I haven't worked a day in my life, but I also know that I am still equal to any of you, and so is anyone of my age (even chavs *gasp*) at the end of the day, we are all people and born equal.
Racist old people, you can just fuck off. No, "the blacks" aren't ruining Moss Side, it's not because they're black, its because they were born into poverty and can't change things, that goes for white people too. And anyone who claims "they don't know any better" is an outright liar, just because they were born 70 years ago doesn't make them stupid.

People who can't take a joke, you're all cock munchers. Yes, racist/rape/sexist/sick jokes are funny, I know they are wrong and sick, and that's why they're funny.

Fat People, you are ugly and there is a reason they don't make tank tops in extra large.
No, its not because you're big boned or because of your glands or because of your genes, its because you eat too fucking much.
Its quite simple really, you stop eating so fucking much and then when you walk past I wont be saying "We're manning the harpoons but they aren't doing anything"
I once saw a woman so fat she had to use an old people's mobile to get around, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Just how the funk can you get THAT fat that you cant walk? Surely when you realise "Hmm I can't see Father O'Malley because my stomach is in the way" that its time to cut down on things deep fried in lard and have a bit of salad instead?

I have neither length nor girth, its all about stamina.
(Fri 2nd May 2008, 9:20, More)
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