» Workplace Boredom

Sexual Favours
I spend all my days giving my Boss handjobs. One after the other. day in day out.
I do get favours in return, I get to bang his wife as well, in any position she'll let me.

Its quite ace cos I always get a good increase. then again, I am self employed...
(Fri 9th Jan 2009, 13:17, More)

» Pubs

Call miss Marple
In South Africa it is uncommon to have a black guy with a lot of white friends. Especially one who parties with us, drinks with us and plays guitar and jams with us.

so Terry went down well with everyone. He literally has hundreds of friends who dont give a shit about his skin colour. Girls flock after him and he is loved by many.

He proclaims himself to be a lover not a fighter and will go out of his way to make peace and be friendly to everyone.

He was often invited on stage to play with whatever band was playing to sing a bit or strum a tune.

A week or so ago, he was at our local having a few. when some out-of-towners took offence to a black guy flirting with a white girl.

in the attack he was sucker punched, he walked away, it flared up again and he was hit over the head with a bottle. (turned out to be by someone he knew)

2 days later he went into hospital in severe pain and slipped into a coma. He died last week at the age of 24. A talented, well respected and loved man is gone.

Just when we thought racism was dying here, some fuck nut neanderthal took things too far.

sniff...
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 11:32, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Help a guy out...
I know I get zero for this, but hopefully someone knows this...

I had a Swank magazine from 1996, in it was the sweetest blonde I ever did see. The name written there was Stephanie. which is obviously fake.

My good mum found it and promptly chucked it, but to be honest, wanking hasn't been the same since. Its like the best spunk fantasy was removed from my possession and discarded like complete filth. Oh the ruin...

Now I'm listening to the Eagles (I can't tell you why. You know the song) and feeling sorry for myself dreaming of the days when I stared into her eyes, beating off furiously. We were meant to be together.

but she's gone.
I have tried to satisfy myself by sleeping with hundreds of women, but it always reminds me of the times alone in my room, just her and I, some lube and my hand.

Stephanie if you're out there, I'm sorry my mum thought you were smut. I'm sorry she turfed you like that. Most of all I'm sorry for the time I lent you to my mates. I know you weren't like that, I know you only wanted me. I miss you.

and the way you spread em.

*Sob*
(Thu 14th Aug 2008, 21:42, More)

» Insults

Overheard at work....
Guy to flat chested girl: Would you wear socks if you had no feet?

Flat chested girl: no.

Guy: then why do you wear a bra?

I nearly bust an artery laughing so hard
(Mon 8th Oct 2007, 15:25, More)

» The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

I think
It might have been Billy Connolly who said he onced shagged a bird who was so loose that it was like "opening the window and fucking the night."
(Fri 13th Mar 2009, 8:53, More)