Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.Smash Wogan writes, "we all love our Mums, but we all know that Mums can be cunts, throwing out our carefully hoarded crap that we know is going to be worth millions some day."
What priceless junk have you lost because someone just threw it out?
Zero points for "all my porn". Unless it was particularly good porn...
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chthonic, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:32)
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Help a guy out...I know I get zero for this, but hopefully someone knows this...
I had a Swank magazine from 1996, in it was the sweetest blonde I ever did see. The name written there was Stephanie. which is obviously fake.
My good mum found it and promptly chucked it, but to be honest, wanking hasn't been the same since. Its like the best spunk fantasy was removed from my possession and discarded like complete filth. Oh the ruin...
Now I'm listening to the Eagles (I can't tell you why. You know the song) and feeling sorry for myself dreaming of the days when I stared into her eyes, beating off furiously. We were meant to be together.
but she's gone.
I have tried to satisfy myself by sleeping with hundreds of women, but it always reminds me of the times alone in my room, just her and I, some lube and my hand.
Stephanie if you're out there, I'm sorry my mum thought you were smut. I'm sorry she turfed you like that. Most of all I'm sorry for the time I lent you to my mates. I know you weren't like that, I know you only wanted me. I miss you.
and the way you spread em.
*Sob*
(, Thu 14 Aug 2008, 21:42, 1 reply)
simple answerTake a kitchen knife stab yourself in your arm, go to the police and tell them you were mugged at knife point by a naked lady, they will then ask to do an artists impression of the person, describe away, ask for a photocopy. And bobs your uncle, back in the land of wankytasticness.
good luck
(, Mon 18 Aug 2008, 3:59, closed)
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