b3ta.com user MrMessiah
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Recent front page messages:

When movie merchandising goes too far
Clicky Biggy
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 22:02, More)

Who says they're dumbing down drama?

Memes embedded free of charge ;)

Edit: FP too, thank ye magic donkey :)
(Thu 18th Sep 2003, 13:59, More)

Long time listener, first time caller

(Tue 3rd Sep 2002, 22:23, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Clients Are Stupid

Built a PC for my dad
which I do at work from time to time for customers so it's *sort of* a client. Certainly stupid anyway.

Built him a brand new computer and as it was Christmas, installed Microsoft Flight Sim 2000 on there. He was made up.

Until the point he phoned me up in a blind panic.

Him: Chris you know on that Microsoft?
Me: What, Windows?
Him: No, the game...
Me: Ah, OK. Yeah?
Him: I've just crashed it
Me: The game crashed?
Him: I crashed the plane into a mountain [/building (I forget)]
Me: Yeeeees?
Him: Look, that won't of damaged the screen will it?
Me: Bye dad
(Mon 29th Dec 2003, 15:10, More)

» Your Revenge Stories

Nobbling the dyslexic
This guy I was at school with was a registered dyslexic, and had a computer at school so he could do his exams. One day he'd been a real prick to me and one of my friends so we loaded up Microsoft Word and misspelled as many common words as we could and added them to the dictionary so they wouldn't show up in the spellchecker.
(Fri 14th May 2004, 13:21, More)

» Look! It's me in the Local Paper

I was responsible for a pile of turd in the Derby Evening Telegraph
Me and a friend lived in two suburbs of town seperated by farmers' fields, and after a night out we'd often park up in one of the fields for a sly smoke.

One night, we didn't realise how muddy the field was, and churned massive ruts in the field trying to get the car out. The next day, the farmer was so pissed off, he dumped a gigantic pile of horseshit the size of two transit vans over the entrance to the field, which blocked the way in quite effectively.

Until a few weeks later, when the hottest summer on record kicked in, and heated it up... at which point it appeared in a story called "...and the pongy stuff". Apparently, the smell in the local village was so bad, the residents had to keep their doors and windows shut all summer, and went to the newspaper to complain of their plight. Sorry, Spondon!
(Fri 11th Feb 2005, 1:36, More)

» Slang Survey

Glappa / glapper
(n) As in "I've got to go NOW, I've got a ~"

Severe turtle head (apparently after the Galapagos Tortoise, the biggest of it's kind in the world).
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 19:27, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

Remember Channel 5's reality game show "The Mole"?
When they canned it after 2 series, the producer sent a load of props from series 2 to the fans on the messageboards, which got dished out at a meet.

So I have some flags from the ice hockey game, some puzzle pieces from the first game, and a load of other obscure stuff.
(Thu 4th Nov 2004, 15:38, More)
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