b3ta.com user The kneeling rifleman
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» Desperate Times

it aint half hot mum
Desperate times!! don't make me laugh, so should see my latest abode thanks to the great British army. I've taken to skiving off over to the Yanks base where they have internet access and a bloody 24hr cafe, we are lucky to get running water.
how desperate, I have to put up with the burger munching, sister shagging, red neck banjo playing battle dodging motherf**kers telling tales of their great country in order to access B3TA!!!!
make me post of the week or I'm coming over there and getting medievil on your ass!
(Thu 15th Nov 2007, 11:37, More)

» Guilty Secrets

One way ticket to hull and back
my brother,the grump and I look very similar, so much so people are sometimes sure we're twins but he's five years older than me.
Anyway my bro had a stalker, well a girl who wanted him badly and wouldn't take no for an answer so what could I do??? I spent all night in a club chatting to her telling her she was definately on for some red hot grump lovin' and making sure she had enough to drink. I then excused myself to "go and find the grump" ie my brother, went to the toilets redid my hair and swopped shirts with a mate, went back and pretended to be my own brother!!!
the shame.
well there was only one conclusion from there on in, took her home, did the deed, twice. had to tell big bro and fortunately he fell off the sofa laughing.
length? she maintains it was one of the best nights of her life so......
(Fri 31st Aug 2007, 12:52, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

cryed like a baby,
Now I've been in the army and seen some nasty, horrible shit in my time, suicide bombers, mates being shot, innocent civvies who've been caught in the the cross fire but the only time I've ever been upset was Boxing day a few years back when I waas taking my much loved but extremely stupid dog (donut) for a walk, he slipped of the lead and chased a cat and ran straight out into the road and was hit by a bus. The old red mist decended and i ran out into the road and picked up old donut with cars swerving to miss me, the sound of his bones crunching will live with me forever. I held him in my arms as he died and cried like a little girl. not ashamed of it and people watching were very kind, almost restored my faith in human nature.
sorry it's not even remotely funny but if you ask an iffy question the expect dodgy answers
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 15:37, More)

» Why I was late

dads new job
A good friend of my was teaching in the far east at some very posh school and one normally bright and punctual child rolled up mid way through the day. When asked for his excuse for being so late he said "sorry my father was being crowned this morning" Yep dear old dad had been made king that morning, blinding excuse.
First page Yay!!
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 10:49, More)

» Dumb things you've done

well just how stupid can one be???
Short and too the point -
With just ten weeks left to go, I've just signed up for another six months in Afghanistan!! Ha Ha, beat you all!!!
Merry Christmas one and all.

Stille Nacht,
(Sun 23rd Dec 2007, 12:41, More)
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