b3ta.com user sick_boy
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My wonderful website - www.paulpreacher.com where you can see some of my photos. Go on, hire me, I'm quite good really.

The Nude MPs Calander

I made a nude MP calendar that Sigsy kindly hosted and it is here:



The Sunday Sport picked up on this and published all twelve pics in a full cover centrefold. Did I get any money? Did I arse! According to my (ever so proud) Mother Radio Two did a phone in on it asking who people thought the political group behind it was. Turns out I am on the government's wanted list now, ah well, you can't win them all!

The Porn Plan:

The thread that started it all

some porn, yesterday...

I mentioned earlier a plan for making porn and money which some of you expressed an interest in. Here is the (as yet untried) plan:

There was a hoax advert placed in a couple of tabloids some time ago asking for volunteers to be the next big thing in porn. The response was phenomenal and got me thinking. Why not place an ad in a few tabloids asking people if they want to have a career in pornography. If the response was anything like the last then arrange an audition day and ask the people along to a suite at a respectable hotel to try out for the (pardon the pun) position. Most of Middle-England is a hot-bed of perversion and exhibitionism anyway so I anticipate a good response.

On their arrival at the suite in the hotel at their alloted slot have them met and greeted by a respectable lady (my friend Louisa has already signed up for the job) and asked to sign a disclaimer and a contract (my lawyer mate says it can be done) handing the rights of the audition footage to my company. Then have them relax, choose the sex-toy of their choice and audition for ten-fifteen minutes (solo) on the bed in the suite. This wouldn't be an unreasonable request for an introduction into one of the biggest industries on the planet (worth around $4 billion in the US alon in 2000).

I would then use the footage to compile a load of tapes of 'amateur girls/boys'. The not seen before amateur market for videos is a lucrative one and the distribution of this alone should be a money spinner. The added bonus is that we should have enough of a demographic cross-section to cover some specialist areas (Asian Babes, Fifty Plus, Gay, etc). But this is only the start. I would then circulate the audition tapes throughout the production industry and introduce the people who have registered with me to the other movie/production companies. An adult recruitment agency if you like. This is where the fun really begins. With enough capital behind, due to relaxed EU UK porn production legislation, I could form my own production company รก la Paul Raymond school but classier. The options are endless.

There are a few more details to fill in but the bulk is there. What are your thoughts?

Recent front page messages:

Ummmmm, here:

(Wed 6th Jul 2005, 16:48, More)

Pre-emptive strike:

(Thu 19th Aug 2004, 8:44, More)

How I wish...
...these were around in my courting days:

embiggen here
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 16:32, More)

As used by Ken Dodd:
(Fri 20th Feb 2004, 14:58, More)

I've been waiting ages to do this:
(Mon 5th Jan 2004, 16:02, More)

It's been a while...
love is...
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 15:03, More)

He's big in banking you know...
(Fri 21st Nov 2003, 16:01, More)

Morning all!
(Mon 17th Nov 2003, 9:27, More)


(Fri 7th Nov 2003, 16:53, More)

It's not easy staying at home...
...looking after the kids:
(Thu 30th Oct 2003, 13:19, More)

Rear View Vanity-Mirrors:
wimmen drivers eh?
(Fri 8th Aug 2003, 17:07, More)

Disturbing children's books #12:
Bye bye timmy

1 2 3 4 5
(Wed 30th Jul 2003, 13:13, More)

Disturbing children's books #5:
Borderline taste
Actually, I feel a bit uncomfortable with this one....Fuck it - post & be damned.
(Tue 29th Jul 2003, 14:39, More)

Inspired by a Bob Hope gag:
It's porn you know...
porn efficionados will understand....
(Tue 29th Jul 2003, 11:43, More)

Who said blind people could wank with impunity?
(Thu 17th Jul 2003, 13:36, More)

Lupine Hand Shadows:
lupine dexterity
(Tue 15th Jul 2003, 10:23, More)

Apple Juice:

click biggidy
(Wed 9th Jul 2003, 13:39, More)

Creamy smooth skin....
Misogynist, moi?

Click for bigger
(Tue 8th Jul 2003, 10:06, More)

Don't make him angry

I trust you all saw the story posted earlier....
(Mon 7th Jul 2003, 11:29, More)

(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 10:00, More)

The Olympic committee were concerned..
..about athletes performing on drugs:

Click for super detail
(Fri 9th May 2003, 10:50, More)

Recommended reading would be different:

Click for bigness
(Fri 28th Mar 2003, 14:27, More)

It's fine love...
Just rinse the tub after:

Click for bigness
(Wed 26th Mar 2003, 16:59, More)

Portents of the apocalypse...live from Cheltenham:

Click for full morning glory..

this took me way too long
(Thu 13th Mar 2003, 11:49, More)

I really should have read the small print before subscribing:

(Thu 27th Feb 2003, 12:20, More)

And they said I couldn't fly....
HA, look at me now Attenborough!

(Thu 23rd Jan 2003, 13:59, More)

Leg O' Lass

click for bigness

I am really sorry for this awful punnage...I'll get my coat
(Thu 16th Jan 2003, 14:38, More)


Hi folks! Been away from B3ta for three whole weeks, it's good to be back.
(Fri 10th Jan 2003, 14:22, More)

When left to their own devices:

The net detail in this took me waaayyy to long! click for bigger to see.
(Fri 13th Dec 2002, 15:17, More)

The Clangaaaaarrrrrrrrsss

I'll get my coat.....
(Thu 19th Sep 2002, 14:50, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Lies Your Parents Told You

That the tree I was sawing....
...a branch off for my Father wouldn't catapult backwards when the branch was severed and send me flying backwards through the air. It did.

Though, the best I ever heard was a friend of mine who was born in Africa......

He had an older brother who lived in Africa with the parents. They also had a pet monkey. Now, there were a great many family pictures prior to my friend's birth that featured his Mother, Father, Brother and the monkey. His parents told him that the monkey in the pictures was him and they started shaving him because they were embarrassed by him monkey body hair. He believed this till he was 14. He is a ratehr disturbed man these days.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 13:46, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Stephanie from Lazytown

I'm going to hell for this one.....
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 12:53, More)

» Dad Jokes

Ahhhhh Dad Jokes!
Now I am a Dad I wil have to practice them. My Dad has many, his standard reply to "I'm cold/hungry/tired/dying" was "I'm Jim, nice to meet you". Another favourite was whenever anyone mentioned a chest of drawers he would point to his nipples and then pull down his trousers (chest, off drawers - geddit?). Oh and whenever I took a young lady home he would come in and anounce that he was going to tell us about the birds and the bees then go on to say "the birds go flap, flap, flap and the bees go bzzzzzzz" followed by copious amounts of laughter, I didn't get laid till I was 27. It's no wonder I turned out the way I did really.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 8:58, More)

» Little things that turn you on

Oddly enough
The ladies voice in the lift that says 'Going Down' whenever I hit the button for the ground floor.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 15:31, More)

» Slang Survey

I am quite amused by....
...The youths today referring to disabled people as 'Scopers'. The irony is that The Spastic Society changed its name to Scope after the Jimmy-Deacon-Spacker furore of the 1970s.

The other is the term 'No Stars' applied to an idiotic person and comparing him to a McDonalds worker who has no stars, not even the personal hygiene one.
(Mon 2nd Feb 2004, 9:13, More)
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