b3ta.com user Monoball
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» Sleepwalking

...
My uncle sleepwalks and has had to install a stair guard to stop him from falling down the stairs again, a bit serious but I always chuckle when I see it in his house.


My other story involves a friend who went into his little brothers room naked and pissed all over the floor, his brother woke up and started screaming which woke everyone up. His dad ran into the room and slipped and fell into the piss puddle. We are not allowed talk about it now.
(Wed 22nd Aug 2007, 23:02, More)

» Terrible Parenting

This is true
My whole family and I were watching a documentry about nasa and the launches at cape canaveral, and I said out loud "I would love to be launched into space"
Then my dad said out loud "you would have been if I wasnt drunk"


ba-dum-tish
(Sun 19th Aug 2007, 1:21, More)

» Terrible Parenting

Smart now but...
Years ago when I was real young around 4 I seen my dad smoking and was fascinated by it. I asked him for one and of course he said no.

Fast foward a week, my dad was out at work and I was at home with my mam when I found a pack of ciggies. I then proceeded to put one in my mouth.

I walked around with thinking I was the bees knees until my mam seen me, she hates my dad smoking and when she seen me she probably felt worried.

So what does she do? well she nips it in the bud. She asked me do you want to smoke? and of couse I said yes. So then she went and lit it.

As soon as I inhaled I started blowing chunks and extingushed the cigarette with my own vomit. Then she asked me again if I wanted another one and of course I said no.

To this day I have not tried a cigarette since why lung cancer, stained teeth or bad breath? nope because I am afraid if I inhale that I will get sick and look like a proper tit.
(Fri 17th Aug 2007, 0:28, More)

» * PFFT *

School smells
When I was in school what we used to do was someone would call the teacher over for help with work and someone would let out a silent one. The best thing about this though was the teachers face they would always look disgusted.

Im sure that one time when we did this that someone sharted themselves because the smell stayed around all day, nobody mentioned it but we all suspected it.
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 23:42, More)