» Mistaken Identity

Anita Roddick, my twin.
I've lost count of the number of times I've walked into The Body Shop and seen the staff freeze in mild panic. I wouldn't mind being mistaken for Anita Roddick only she's about 20 years older than me.....
(Tue 5th Jun 2007, 14:13, More)

» Inflated Self-Importance

Film Location Arse Twattery...
Imaging the scene: Snow on the ground, us poor little unpaid 'background artists' freezing our butts off, 7am start starving hungry by 9am and the smell of bacon from the catering wagon driving us crazy. So I went up to the wagon and asked what was on offer, when Mr. Up His Own Arse with an ear piece behind me says "Hot food is for cast only. You're only a background artist. Go away". The man behind the counter says "But we're about to close and we have loads left. Let her have something". But no. Mr. UHOA reinterates that we mere extras may not have hot food. It is better that the food go to waste than to let it go to us. Us extras who have given us services voluntarily rather than charge our usual £150 a day because we were trying to help out a low budget film maker... go figure...
(Sat 26th Jan 2013, 13:16, More)

» Celebrities part II

Freddie from Freddie and the Dreamers (who?)
Freddie copped a grope of my backside during the 1983 Bognor Carnival Queen competition. I was only 16 and he was about 70. Dirty old bugger.
(Mon 12th Oct 2009, 12:25, More)

» Mums

My mum's sicker than your mum....
It's bad enough that my mother had Muchausen's, but she also had Muchausen's by proxy. So when I bashed my face trying to hang upside down off a stool like you do, when I was 7, my mum had me rushed off to hospital telling the medical staff that she'd found me unconscious in a pool of blood. Which was of course bollocks. I was kept in hospital overnight and released the next day with a bit of scabby face. Not very dramatic. So what does my mother do? Sticks a bloody sanitary towel across my face and makes me keep it there for 5 whole days....
(Fri 12th Feb 2010, 17:16, More)