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- a member for 17 years, 5 months and 12 days
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» Bastard Colleagues
I still go to school
An all girls school at that
Bitches, anorexics, fatties, rascists, idiots, smartarses, bullies, nerds, creeps, whores, attention seekers and that one kid who you never know if shes still alive.
We're all bastards pretty much.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 22:26, More)
I still go to school
An all girls school at that
Bitches, anorexics, fatties, rascists, idiots, smartarses, bullies, nerds, creeps, whores, attention seekers and that one kid who you never know if shes still alive.
We're all bastards pretty much.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 22:26, More)
» Too much information
Whilst Eating Pizza
Me: Urgh I can smell jizz *Smells Hand* Not my hands.
Friend: Try the other one.
Me: No they both smell of weed. I think it's just my breath.
Lovely
(Sat 8th Sep 2007, 13:20, More)
Whilst Eating Pizza
Me: Urgh I can smell jizz *Smells Hand* Not my hands.
Friend: Try the other one.
Me: No they both smell of weed. I think it's just my breath.
Lovely
(Sat 8th Sep 2007, 13:20, More)
» When Animals Attack
Cock
A very small me playing in the garden on a summers day. We used to have a very agressive cock *giggle*. Whenever I went outide it would chase me, and pounce. It was only succesful once, digging it's sharp little claws into my leg. Ouch.
Got my own back though, kicked it up the arse. Went flying.
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 19:31, More)
Cock
A very small me playing in the garden on a summers day. We used to have a very agressive cock *giggle*. Whenever I went outide it would chase me, and pounce. It was only succesful once, digging it's sharp little claws into my leg. Ouch.
Got my own back though, kicked it up the arse. Went flying.
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 19:31, More)
» Hotel Splendido
Holiday in OCD
74
Thats how many little laminated notes were left around the house we stayed in on a happy family holiday
It also included a large book with photocopied versions of all 74 post it notes.
"Please close cupboard after using it. Thank you"
"No ball games in the garden"
"Do not step on the grass"
"Do not leave the tap running"
"Do not touch the ornaments"
"Do not have fun"
We decided to leave when the paranoid twat actually came into the house during the day (while we were out) to make sure we hadn't stolen anything.
(Wed 23rd Jan 2008, 21:13, More)
Holiday in OCD
74
Thats how many little laminated notes were left around the house we stayed in on a happy family holiday
It also included a large book with photocopied versions of all 74 post it notes.
"Please close cupboard after using it. Thank you"
"No ball games in the garden"
"Do not step on the grass"
"Do not leave the tap running"
"Do not touch the ornaments"
"Do not have fun"
We decided to leave when the paranoid twat actually came into the house during the day (while we were out) to make sure we hadn't stolen anything.
(Wed 23rd Jan 2008, 21:13, More)
» Personal Ads
If I Can Recall Correctly
There was a well known personal ad being whored around all the corner shops in the local area:
"Male 2 Male massage. Very affordable and discreet. Full body massage and lots of pampering"
Us being the mature youths that we are, decided to prank call that number, because that's the extent of our wit.
*Dials number*
Pervert: Hello?
Friend: Hi....I'd like a massage p-please.
Pervert: Well it's £40 altogether, I can either come around your home or we can arrange to meet somewhere else.
Friend: Err yeah ok sure. Erm...How far are you willing to go.
*pause*
Pervert: Well how far do you want to go?
Couldn't exactly finish the conversation after that.
He sounded like a middle aged man apparently. How suprising.
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 21:21, More)
If I Can Recall Correctly
There was a well known personal ad being whored around all the corner shops in the local area:
"Male 2 Male massage. Very affordable and discreet. Full body massage and lots of pampering"
Us being the mature youths that we are, decided to prank call that number, because that's the extent of our wit.
*Dials number*
Pervert: Hello?
Friend: Hi....I'd like a massage p-please.
Pervert: Well it's £40 altogether, I can either come around your home or we can arrange to meet somewhere else.
Friend: Err yeah ok sure. Erm...How far are you willing to go.
*pause*
Pervert: Well how far do you want to go?
Couldn't exactly finish the conversation after that.
He sounded like a middle aged man apparently. How suprising.
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 21:21, More)