b3ta.com user Bassie999
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» Money-saving tips

If you smoke
and you're using these "throw-away-lighters", here's a tip: usually, the gas in these lighters is gone, but the flintstone is still sparkling. So, with your next lighter, use the flint of the empty one to light the gas from the new one, and so on, and so on. After some time, you will have an empty lighter with a brandnew flint on it.

Don't know what you would want to do with it, though, but it's a good tip, isn't it?.

Or just stop smoking to safe some money.
(Fri 11th Nov 2011, 13:57, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Dutch humour?
Classic one in Dutch toilets:

Original text would be: "John was here"

The 'adjusted' text (adjusted by someone else of course) would be: "John wast heren"
(which means: "John washes men")

(Fri 4th May 2007, 15:59, More)

» Oldies vs Computers

Virus or not?
I worked for a guy who was not all that familiar with computers. One day he came into my office, telling me that he had a virus on his computer.

I went to his desk, ran an antivirus program, did some checks, but I could find nothing.

Me: I can't find anything. What's the problem?
He: Each night I shut down my computer, but when I arrive in the morning, somehow it has switched it on again.

Now, I should tell you that this guy worked very hard, and actually left the office as the last person each day, and arrived first in the morning. He actually has the key to he office and nobody can enter the building or his office without him being there. So, nobody could have switched on his computer.

Me: Could you please show me what you do every evening?
He: Clicks on 'start', 'shut down' (which, by the way is already one of the stupiest things about computers anyhow), and the shut-down dialog box appears.

Instead of 'shut down', the dialog box shows 'restart'...

I "repaired" his computer for him, and he couldn't stop thanking me and tell everybody how I saved the company from hackers (didn't get a raise though...)

Length? I know, but admit: it's a funny story!
(Tue 26th Sep 2006, 13:12, More)

» Lies that went on too long

My employer still thinks I'm good at my job
and meanwhile I browse B3TA all day, and try to keep up appearances. I hope I never really have to finish that technical paper I have promised to write some months ago...
(Fri 9th Mar 2012, 14:56, More)

» First rude thing I ever saw

Naughty joke
Probably one of the first times that I ever thought about sex. I mean, I probably thought about it before, but not in the clinical, factual manner that I realised after hearing the following phrase/joke:

"If you smoke after sex, you probably did it too fast..."

I never really got that joke, but when I did, a whole new world opened up to me: I realised that sex involved copulation and physical movements. With a girl.

I must have been 12 or 13 or so.
(Thu 11th Aug 2011, 13:34, More)
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