b3ta.com user esganorp
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Gawp at some of my inane rubbish. Or, choose the word that you would like: fridge, maybe; or perhaps onion? Or maybe flexible seems more good to you, hmm?
ICQ status:
Here are some things about me you may not already know...

You are OS2-Warp. You're plagued by feelings of abandonment and disgust for your backstabbing step-brother.  Oh, what might have been.
Which OS are You?

The best part of this one is that I am a Warp fan and often post to b3ta while booted into OS/2 :-)

You Are 70% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.

Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Your Observation Skills Get A D+

You know that you remembered to put on underwear today...

But really, that's about it!

How Observant Are You?


is a Giant Robot that cowers from Radiation, has a Long, Prehensile Tongue and Heavy Metal Armour, carries a Samurai Sword, and can Phase in and out of Existence.

Strength: 9 Agility: 7 Intelligence: 8

To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat esganorp, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights esganorp using

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Angry Drunk
What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I am nerdier than 31% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Paranoid Personality Disorder:Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:Moderate
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:Moderate
Borderline Personality Disorder:Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Moderate

-- Take the Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Info --

The Strokes
Garage rock! I like you... I like you alot! You
and indie are on the same plane for me! You
bring rock'n'roll down to its dirty roots,
whether being minimalist like The White Stripes
or retro like The Strokes. You keep on doing
what you're doing! Oh...and did I mention I
like you alot?

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, stalking amidst the mini-mall parking lot! It is Esganorp, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! He screams apocalyptically:

"This one's for you, mom! I lay waste to all I see with God on my side!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

What Flavour Are You? Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.

I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammatical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla

You Are a Creative Cook

Your cooking is unusual, inspired, and definitely one of a kind. People love your unique style, but you've had your share of kitchen flops.

You have the makings of a cult chef. You may not cook at the Four Seasons, but you could have your own little funky cafe in San Francisco!

Are You A Good Cook?

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content.

You value kindness and try to live by your ideals.

You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material.

You respect truth and are flexible.

You like people, and they can readily make friends with you.

You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

You are .mp3 The kids love you.  You get along with just about everybody except the music industry.  You really make yourself heard.
Which File Extension are You?

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Messing with the Dark Side

I had this friend...
...and he was a Jehovah's Witness, and therefore considered himself the ultimate authority on messing with anything religious. Ever.

I remember one particular lecture that explained how someone had hanged himself after reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards into a mirror and therefore summonging the devil, how playing with a ouija board can cause the devil to take control of your soul. But under no account should you *ever* say the word "God" backwards.

And it was only when I asked him for a three-letter word describing a four-legged animal whose vocabulary consisted only of the word "woof" that he realised I'd rumbled him...
(Wed 26th Apr 2006, 21:42, More)

» Clients Are Stupid

Not quite...
...I had a client who asked why we didn't deliver the offsite backups of his website to his office (because we deliver them to your bank, like you asked, you muppet...)

But the best was the woman who rang a wrong number. Think snooty, and getting snootier by the second (her, not me):
Her: Hello, is that the Yorkshire Evening Press?
Me: I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong number.
Her: Can you put me through to the classified advertisements section?
Me: I'm very sorry, but this isn't the paper, it's a private house.
Her: Now stop being silly and put me through to the advertising desk.
Me: I think you've got the wrong number.
Her: I'm going to speak to your editor and have you sacked!
Me: Good luck (*click*)
(Fri 2nd Jan 2004, 0:44, More)

» School Sports Day

Never having been any kind of athlete
and always being the kind of kid that would get outrun by others when they were running backwards, school sports days were things I tried to avoid, usually unsuccessfully.

Suffice it to say that when football teams were being chosen, the fattest kid in school would get picked before I did. At that point, the captain of (now) my team would say something along the lines of "oh shit, we've lost".

This occured pretty much most times. While the prophecy may not always have been fulfilled (I did get pretty adept at staying as far away from the ball as humanly possible) there was one constant - I was always the one kid that never got picked.

Anything humourous happened? Well, I could tell you that my knob fell out during a race once, but as that would be a completely untrue utter barefaced lie, I won't bother.
(Wed 5th Apr 2006, 18:12, More)

» Posh

Well our family used to
own two hotels, a house in Mayfair and have a profitable interest in a utility company.

Then the dog knocked the Monopoly set off the table and fucked that one up royally...
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 0:28, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

I am not the slightest bit rock and roll
Though I did once flick the Vs at Michael Barrymore while he was recording some god-awful pensioners' giggle-fest abomination in a shopping centre in Hull. Sadly, I completely failed to even irritate the useless git.
(Thu 29th Jun 2006, 20:17, More)
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