» Phobias

Pogonophobia
We have a trainee with Pogonophobia. It was hilarious. There's me, sat at the front desk, said trainee takes one look at me, screams and bolts out the door. I was rather confused until we later found out they have Pogonophobia and then I laughed my arse off.

Pogonophobia for those who do not know is a fear of beards. I look rather like a viking (I need to shave its much to long/bushy just now, but even then I'd still have a beard beecause I'm not getting rid of it. Its very useful - keeps my face warm up here in the far North, strains my soup, keeps my face cool in hot places, and pleases the missus no end)
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 14:08, More)

» When Animals Attack

A couple of years ago
I was in Dundee minding my own business, smoking a cigarette when a mutant chav spawn (about 8 or 9) wanders up and demands "Give us a cigarette ya ginger faggot!" (I can't spell the Dundee accent)

I looked at him, and then said (words changfed a bit from what I actualy said) "I'm going to tell you three things kid. One, you're not old enough, two, I'm not ginger, three, in calling me a faggot you've lost the right to even speak to me never mind ask for a smoke so he can just fuck right off." The little mutant then kicked me in the shins and ran off.

Maybe this should have been in the last QOTW...but I maintain that chavs are not humans and he looked like a cross between a rat and a shaved ferret.
(Fri 25th Apr 2008, 13:02, More)

» Personal Ads

SLightly Off Topic
But seems to follow in the vein of many of the other stories.

Some of you may be familiar with a series of books by Robert Jordan called the Wheel of Time. As a budding author, I got my self started on a fan-fic writing group based on said series. A year later (despite seeing her around often) I made the best friend I could ever have. A few months later we fell in love and two years on are still very much in love and I recently went over to meet her in America and am planning a return trip for Valentine's (she can't make it over here until next summer :( )

No advertising. No "man seeking woman" on dodgy dating sites. Pure chance and happy times :D
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 11:31, More)

» Pet Peeves

The Streets..
Honestly, who buys that shit. Someone singing...sorry, SPEAKING about what he bought in MacDonalds and the local at the weekend over the top of worse "music" than my GF's 8 year old can procuce with a bin lid and a wooden spoon (she's quite good actually).

ANd then there's the people in the street who whistle and god forbid sing in public. I'm not talking about buskers, some of them are quite good. But people walking along whistling and trying to sing. My dad is the worst culprit for this.
(Wed 7th May 2008, 11:56, More)

» Advice from Old People

Me old granda
Gave me these pearls of wisdom:

"Never have sex, always make love." Sound advice, seems to be more enjoyable that way.

"Even a fool knows something you don't."
"You are never lost. You are always exactly where you are meant to be." I think this one may be a metaphor. Fantastic though :)

and the last one I can remember just now: "What's meant for you won't pass you by...but that doesn't mean you can sit on your arse and wait for something good to happen."
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 17:29, More)