» Cringe!

Christmas tidings.
Christmas '02 - i'd been dragged to Christmas dinner with my entire family for the day.

First off, i hate most of my family, they are boring gits.
Second off, i hate Christmas. If one more person buys me a Lynx deoderant/shower gel kit - i will anally penetrate them with a shattered glass dildo with megadeath sauce lube.

Anyway, to deal with the most horrific of days i decided to drink. Drink a lot.
By the time dinner was served i was nodding and swaying back and fourth in my chair at the table watching everyone chat away and watch their jaws nod up and down in rapid repetition, i'd remained silent for almost 15 minutes when something inside me compelled to drunkenly blurt out;

"Mother, how long exactly have you been a dyke?"

It made my 15 minutes of silence seem like the blink of an eye.
(Mon 1st Dec 2008, 10:40, More)