b3ta.com user lurkylurklurk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for lurkylurklurk:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Ignorance

Whilst on the road in Malaysia our driver regaled us with this pea-roasted story. According to him, he was driving through similar countryside once with an American couple when the wife commented on how neatly arranged the forest was.

"No maám", he told her "those are rubber trees"

"Rubber trees?" she replied "They look real to me!"
(Sat 13th Feb 2016, 18:21, More)

» Tantrums

that i had a cup of tea until it all blew over.
(Thu 19th Jul 2012, 18:15, More)

» Pubs

Pool of Guiness

Nobody ever believes me when I tell this story but I swear on my left nut that it's true.

I used to play pool after/during work in The Roebuck opposite the Royal Free Hospital.

I should add that I was and still am rather shite although my breaks had the power of Thor and Geoff Cape's gay love child.

On one particular occasion I fired a brutal shot whilst my friend Adele stupidly stood at the other end of the table sipping a pint of the black stuff.

The cue ball pinged off the table and sliced her pint glass clean in half leaving her holding a small Guiness filled to the brim.

Funnily enough this has never happened to me since.

(Mon 9th Feb 2009, 17:34, More)

» I'm your biggest Fan

Can I just namedrop instead?
Back in the early 90's I was working in a big recording studio in London. Pretty much everyone who came to work there was famous due to how bloody expensive the place was.

Not once did I get starry eyed.

One day though, I turned up to work to be told that I had the soul destroying task of a McDonald's radio ad to take care of. Not what I had envisioned when I was a 15yr old dreaming of mixing down dusky beauties wearing nowt but their g strings and kinky boots.

And then Adam West walked in to do the voiceover.

Oh. My. Feckin. God. IT'S BATMAN I cried to myself whilst I suddenly got all nervous and my hands started shaking.

Now you can keep your Christian Bales and George Clooneys, this is the only Batman for me and a nicer fella I have never met. He treated me like I was his Robin and the session flew by.

Before he left he grabbed a piece of paper and signed an autograph without me even asking for one (I wouldn't have dared ask) and I still have it to this very day - In fact it's the only autograph I've ever had.

The only thing that troubled me on that most wonderous of days though was the fact that

Batman is Ginger!
(Fri 17th Apr 2009, 17:16, More)

» Conspiracy Theories

Princess Di
was killed by Interflora and Hallmark. FACT.
(Tue 6th Dec 2011, 4:22, More)
[read all their answers]