b3ta.com user Mitsy
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» Conned

Photoshop + thermal printer = free parking

(Sat 20th Oct 2007, 10:59, More)

» Pathological Liars

I've never been in the army
but I stumbled upon this, which had me laughing my tits off:

(Fri 30th Nov 2007, 9:57, More)

» Pathological Liars

Fat Bryan
When I was in school there was a persistent liar who everyone called Fat Bryan. There was no need for the 'Fat' bit really, as he was the only Bryan in the school! He would always come out with some shaggy dog story or another, usually about his dad:

"My dad was in the sex pistols."
"My dad was a striker for Wrexham in the seventies."
"My dad was on the balcony at the Iranian embassy siege."

He once came into school one morning, and boasted about how he and his family had been to watch Wrestle Mania the previous night - in Houston, Texas! This wasn't squeezed in at the end of a two week holiday, oh no, they all flew out there to watch a three hour wrestling show then flew straight back the same day! Someone pointed out to him that as the show finished at 3am our time, he must have come to school straight from the airport - in his uniform!

My favourite was the time he knocked on my door very early on a Sunday morning, dressed in his (dad's) best clothes. He says, with perfect dead pan delivery "I won the lottery last night!" I laughed and closed the door on him.
About a minute later he knocks again: "Can I borrow a fiver for the bus?". *SLAM*

He also used to say he had a massive cock, that actually turned out to be true.
(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 15:43, More)