» Dumb things you've done

Stupid Stunt Blade
When I was about 13 I saw a programme on kiddy telly that showed you how they made fake blood come out of stunt blades. Basically the edge of the fake blade was dipped into a fake blood solution, then when drawn across the skin would leave a convincing (ish) line of red blood.

So that afternoon in art I proceeded to get a stanley knife blade and dip it in red paint and then drew the blade quickly down the length of my right arm whilst telling all my mates to 'Watch This!'

Not only did I slice my arm open but due to it getting infected because it was full of red paint I still have the scar.

Idiot.
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 13:27, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Telling everyone about your mundane life via Facebook
I really couldn't give a shit:

a: what you are eating for fucking breakfast, yum!
b: that your really excited about your tossing wedding plans.
c: that you've coughed twice and are feeling a bit poorly
d: that you had a great weekend with the girlies, love you hunnies xxx
e: that your team beat another team in a sport I couldn't care equally less about
f: that your having a such a great time out with your friends, you've had to stop and use facebook to let me know
g: that it's nearly Friday, yay! or
h: your pissed off it's monday again.

Please just fuck off. Only let me know if:

a: you've won the lottery
b: you've had a boob job
c: you've suddenly become single
d: you have a terminal illness
e: you fucked a celebrity
f: you got fucked by a celebrity
g: you've got free tickets
h: murdered Katie Price

Thanks in advance.
(Mon 19th Oct 2009, 16:30, More)

» Annoying Partners

I want a dog
My soon to be ex-partner wanted a dog. "I don't really" says I, "I want a dog" says she, "But you work shifts, it'll be difficult",..."I want a dog". I continue a reasoned debate about the 'cons of having a dog that I don't want, but it's very difficult to emapthise with someone who basically behaves like a spoilt child and counters any reasonable argument with 'But I want a dog'.

As no middle ground can be reached she finally is resigned to the fact that I don't want a dog. Then I'm told that I will never be forgiven and that I need to move into the spare room. I do so beliving that she will calm down soon and see the sense in two people being able to have different points of view and still live comfortably together.

Next day at work, phone call. "Just wanted you to know, we've got a dog."

I'm currently looking at flats.
(Fri 5th Aug 2011, 12:34, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

Teachers at my primary school told me
That there was an invisible man who lived in the sky who'd created everything and really really loved me, but if I didn't love him back I'd burn in a lake of fire for all eternity.
(Mon 23rd Jan 2012, 13:16, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Fake Tan
In what culture/society/race/continent on this planet is it considered attractive to be orange?
(Mon 19th Oct 2009, 16:02, More)