Telling everyone about your mundane life via Facebook
I really couldn't give a shit:

a: what you are eating for fucking breakfast, yum!
b: that your really excited about your tossing wedding plans.
c: that you've coughed twice and are feeling a bit poorly
d: that you had a great weekend with the girlies, love you hunnies xxx
e: that your team beat another team in a sport I couldn't care equally less about
f: that your having a such a great time out with your friends, you've had to stop and use facebook to let me know
g: that it's nearly Friday, yay! or
h: your pissed off it's monday again.

Please just fuck off. Only let me know if:

a: you've won the lottery
b: you've had a boob job
c: you've suddenly become single
d: you have a terminal illness
e: you fucked a celebrity
f: you got fucked by a celebrity
g: you've got free tickets
h: murdered Katie Price

Thanks in advance.
(onemunki Down there for dancing, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:30, 10 replies)

Also:
don't care what your fucking baby looks like

it's a baby

they all look the same
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:40, closed)

^^THIS^^
That is to say, they all look like wrinkled, tiny aliens.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 0:56, closed)

You missed one...
"...is bored"
(Dai Napoleon, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:46, closed)

Or the saddest biggest attention seeking cry for help:
..."Is pissed off"

To be followed by cronies posting...

"What's up hun?" and "You ok babe?"

Tossers
(onemunki Down there for dancing, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:50, closed)

I agree
and I'm eating an apple, whilst wondering what I will wear down the aisle, and I have the sniffles, after a great w/e wiv da huns, drew to wigan :-( , don't have a facebook account but I have stopped skiving with b3ta to let you know, and will be glad when this week's over and X factor is on. Shit day - Monday!
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:55, closed)

One thing that I can't stand...
... is people who don't know the difference between you're and your. I'd rather read 1000 mundane facebook updates that are grammatically correct than one that isn't.
(tim dog, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 16:59, closed)

Facebook twats
I agree with you there, I just delete those annoying people and have no notifications turned on.

However, I'm too pussy to post this as my status and actively try to get rid of the fuckers. Bah.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:03, closed)

I hve two incredibly annoying people on mine
Basically early 20s on off relationship with a kiddy wink in the middle.

every single status is 'Im sooooo pissed off with *****! he/she is such a dick' and the other one would retaliate and therefore play out their entire argument for the eyes of a few hundred friends too see.

Its worse when they're getting on well and they have borderline pornographic conversations about the fun they had at the weekend.

Have some self respect please thank you.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 20:54, closed)

A similar couple clog up my news feed
But they are in their late 20s, so it's only gonna get worse for you, I'm afraid ... ;)
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 0:58, closed)

Never nothing good either
Never stuff like "Woke up this morning, dropped my laptop between my legs, I have only got Rickets" or something, but oh no it's more like "on the bus"...great !
(amsterdam_neild, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 9:17, closed)