b3ta.com user popurnoinplz
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» Abusing freebies

Scalextric set
Before I started working for the Post Office, I used to work as a scientist. The company I worked for used to buy a lot of consumables from various suppliers (thousands worth a month). As a result, these suppliers would bend over backwards to keep our business. After a while we got bored of coffee mugs, t-shirts, swiss army knives and discmen as free gifts. One supplier was duly asked if he could supply us with a scalextric set for the company to play with.

Two weeks later two massive fuck-off boxes arrived addressed to me. They'd sent us enough stuff to have a huge four lane track that we used to set up in the staff canteen after hours. The set was also available if you wanted to borrow it for the weekend. About a year later (having expanded said set still further using the sports and social club money) it was announced hat there were going to some redundancies. They'd let us know who in two weeks. To hedge my bets, me and a colleague "borrowed" the set between us asap. Good job too. We were both unemployed two weeks later. Sadly, we weren't then allowed back onto the premises to return it. Shame.
(Tue 13th Nov 2007, 12:50, More)

» Advice from Old People

My unlce Dave
told me that

"Men should try everything once apart from morris dancing and buggery."

Not very tolerant of gays was Dave. I can't argue with the morris dancing bit though.
(Tue 24th Jun 2008, 12:37, More)

» Customers from Hell

I work in a post office
A customer asks

"Do you know where I can buy some stamps?"
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 17:20, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

Disabled (or differently abled?) toilets.
In the sorting office I am responsible for, Royal Mail went to great effort and expenditure to update the toilet. Bear in mind that this toilet is for the exclusive use of postmen who's job involves lots of walking or cycling.

They only went and installed a disabled toilet. Surely anyone who is too disabled to use a normal shitter is too disabled to be a postie?
(Fri 23rd Nov 2007, 11:31, More)