» Unemployed

I've been unemployed since December
And so far, I've got nothing apart from a couple of interveiws. I can't get low paid job, because as soon as employers see the fact I have a degree they figure I'll piss off at the first oppurtunity, and I can't go in for graduate training as I've already applied for teacher training posts. So yes, I'm stuck inside, every fucking day, looking for work.

It takes about 2 hours to go through the websites I have bookmarked, another 1 hour or so calling up (or trying to get through to people) agencies, asking for work, another half hour or so reading through the local paper if it happens to be the right day.

I haven't been out drinking in months, I can't afford to hire films, or buy music or even food more interesting than beans on toast. I'm getting pretty sick of people who assume all people on the dole are scroungers, and even more sick of having precisely fuck all to tell people when I do meet them. Every damn time I get a letter of rejection, or more often than not no reply at all it fucking hurts, and reinforces the part of me that thinks I'm a failure. I used to be pretty laid back, friendly, confident and happy, and the longer this goes on the more I find myself unable to even remember when I was like that. So no funnies. No silver lining from where I am either. I honestly don't expect anyone to click this, or reply, I'm just ranting.
(Fri 3rd Apr 2009, 14:02, More)

» Turning into your parents

My dad......
I never knew my dad. Sad story realy. I didn't find out I was adopted until I was pretty much grown up, and even then I only met him a few times, not under the best of circumstances I'm afraid.

Now I think of it, in many ways we are very similar people. We both went into very similar professions, and both share broadly similar spiritual beleifs. Also, following an epic lightsabre duel under cloud city I've now been fitted with a cybernetic hand, similar in many ways to the cybernetics that keep my father alive and give him pretty severe breathing problems. I guess it just goes to show how much is down to genetics.

(I'm so very very sorry)
(Thu 30th Apr 2009, 14:46, More)

» Bullies

Well, this is going to be the most cheerful QOTW ever!
This is cathartic, but bloody depressing. Best read while listening to something cheerful.

Hrm. My story. I actualy didn't get too much greif at primary school. To this day I still do not know why. I was an awkward kid. But that all changed at secondary school.

To start with I was smart, but not smart enough to know to hide it. I could be pretty gobby at times, and I still can be to be honest, and worst of all I was poor. Being poor in a school with a fairly well off catchment area sucks. It realy does. I never had a decent PE kit, or uniform for that matter. So yes. All sorts of bullying, from getting a girl to ask me out then arranging it so she stood me up - verbal bullying, nicking my stuff, hiding it and then laughing, standing in a circle round me and knocking me about, beating the shit out of me after school (I especialy enjoyed the way that they'd tell me what was coming during first lesson, so I'd have all day to stew over it). Oh, breaking stuff then claiming I'd done it, which got me banned from art, one of the few lessons I enjoyed. Oh god, to be honest it wasn't much fun. Until 6th form I don't think I had one friend.

You see, all this bothers me, obviously, and still does, but what realy, realy fucking hurts is that it's around that time I learnt never to rely on authority figures. You see, my parents noticed this, probably due to all the torn clothing, and self harm and that - and did what they should have done, they notified the teachers. The teachers pushed it under the carpet. They claimed that I was often the instigator, that I bought it on myself and I had to learn to stick up for myself a bit more, be more friendly, less "odd". Mostly because the claim that bullying was "not realy a problem" at the school was more important than actualy dealing with bullying.

Well, I learnt that important lesson regarding authority, and decided to take things into my own hands. Literaly. One day, after years of this I snapped and smashed one of the cunts round the head with a chunk of brick. So yeah, after all the blood and fuss and that it was decided I had "emotional" problems. To this day I don't think I did, I'm not a violent person, it's just everyone has their breaking point. So yeah, that solved nothing and I just managed to get more shit for being a mental and having to go see the school counceller.

To this day, what angers me is not that I was bullied (hell, I was probably asking for it a lot of the time) It's the fact that the teachers I was supposed to trust, and who where supposed to look out for me did nothing. They shifted the blame and ignored it until something so bad happened that they couldn't. Then they blamed the victim. And having worked in schools since then, I've got to say I've seen this happen to others more times than I can count.
(Wed 13th May 2009, 14:47, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Facebook makes people act like teenagers
In a bad way. If it wasn't for the fact that it's the most conveniant way to keep in touch with mates who are far away I'd just leave it. A couple of things realy piss me off

1)Passive-agreesive status updates "so and so is very upset with someone/lonely/whatever" Meh. If someone has hurt your feelings just tell them - don't mope around trying to get their attention and guilt through your facebook status.

2)Applications - already covered - like you need to know more

3)Targetted marketing ads - means that if I put even the tiniest peice of info on my profile I get swarmed with ads for anything vaugely related.

4)For some reason it's considered the modern equivilent of killing someone's family and burning their house to the ground if you block someone. Even if you don't particuarly like each other and havent actualy spoken face to face for months.

anyway - can't think of anything overly funny to say - so I'll end with a joke - Q. What do you get if you cross a lion with a panda? A. A lifetime ban from working at London Zoo
(Sat 13th Sep 2008, 14:00, More)

» Sticking it to The Man

Sometimes
I nick disposable rubber gloves from work and take em home so I can blow em up like balloons cos the dog loves chasing em round the house.

I'm such a rebel.
(Mon 21st Jun 2010, 9:17, More)