» When Animals Attack

when humans attack back
geography field trip to North Wales in the heady days of 2007, after half a day of standing by a river making up rock sizes in the upper course of the river we went back to the minibus to go to the middle course and make up more rock sizes. Sensing a chance to tire out his labrador Mr.G has brought his dog along for the day.
now to the actual attack, half the group were now at the minibus with Mr.G and Mr.C waiting for the others to arrive. dog trots off, no-one really notices until it cries out in pain after being attacked by a rottweiler, or some such type of aggresive, ugly dog. Naturall Mr.G takes exception to this and aims to separate the two. Did i mention Mr.G ('Beefy Steve') is a late 40s former prop for Cambridge? sort of bloke who would drink a pint of vodka for a laugh. Anyway I digress, Mr.G proceeds to use size 9 steel capped walking boots on this dark mass which is taking chunks out of his dog and separates the two.
Then realises he is conveniently holding a large metal chain, so starts twatting the dog one, rightly so. rottweiler trots off tail between legs towards car park and owners.
by this stage the entire group is back and about to get on the minibus when a car pulls up. bloke inside looks at labrador, bleeding and is obviously thinking, "ah labrador owner, pushover" gets out of his car and asks who's dog it is. (in a comical Welsh accent, which sounded like a bad impression, but unfortunately wasn't. he is also about 4'3")
"thats mine" intones Mr.G, " i assume the bugger that did that damage is in your car"
there followed some dialogue along the lines of:
WelshTwat: you've injured my bloody dog
Mr.G: that fucker bit my dog, if another dog bites my dog i'll stop the bastard
WT:that's a bloody pedigree dog, if its injur...
MG:that sort of dog should have a fucking muzzle on in public, have you not listened to the news (this was in the weeks when there were a spate of kids being mauled by rottweilers)
WT: listen to me boyo, never hit a dog! i'm going to the police about you, what are your contact details
at this point the welshman looks up and realises he can find all about MrG's employment from the side of the minibus, then looks beside it to see 13 or so 17 year olds, of which 4 are holding ranging poles, 3 are trying to stop the bleeding on the labrador, 3 are cracking their knuckle trying to look intimidating and the rest are laughing at his accent. he took down the school's number and Mr.G's name and fled the scene

unsuprisingly MrG never heard form the police, due to the fact the welshman didn't have a leg to stand on, lab recovered, all was well

length? the metal chain must have been about 3 feet, the ranging poles 2metres...
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 23:43, More)

» Pet Peeves

height
"ooooh you're tall"

really love, thanks for pointing it out.
argh!
(Wed 7th May 2008, 16:02, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

school
some of the more "interesting" staff include:

Mr. D: made redundant after throwing several year 7's mobiles from the 1st floor.

Mr. McK: known as smoky joe, opening his office door saw you engulfed in a cloud of pipe smoke. called an entire year 9 class nobheads.

Mr. L: claimed to have a geography degree. Only taught year 7 classes, and even then out of a textbook.

Mr. T: the obligatory P.E. teaching paedo, spending suspisious amounts of time talking to us in the chaning rooms

Dr. H: even in the middle-class snobbery of the school was labelled a cosh punt by all, fequently calling his GCSE class(top set) they were all boneheads who wouldn't have got into the school 10 years ago.

Mr. E: with the lovely orange skin/pink shirt combo was a bit of a nob, his penchant for discipline by picking children up by the sideburns was, unpopular. Also suffered form a huge inferiority complex, patronising the smaller pupils and having normal conversation with any who were taller than him

Rev. K: Looked like Spok, acted wierder. definition of the scary priest who you wouldn't trust with your child. left twice to go on a pilgramage to Israel...as you do

Mr. W: had a mouth that looked like a vagina

1st post on board...
(Mon 28th Jan 2008, 19:34, More)

» Pet Peeves

4x4s
yes you are richer than me, that doesn't mean the laws of the road don't apply to you. thus, 1. do not park in front of the gate to 6th form car park whilst you walk your obese child to prep. 2. use those indicators, if oyu don't indicate, i will assume you are going straight on, and thus with acclerate how i anticipate you to. 3. when parking on the road, try to be within a foot of the kerb, it does help
(Mon 5th May 2008, 21:59, More)