b3ta.com user imallamallama
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» Procrastination

membership issues
i bet those procrastinating about joining the BNP are breathing a sigh of relief..
(Wed 19th Nov 2008, 21:20, More)

» Faking it

sleeping with ladies
spent a few years pretending to be straight, going out, getting pissed, sleeping with ladies, eating kebabs etc.

now i go out, get pissed, sleep with blokes and eat kebabs.

the downside? blokes tend to want some of your kebab.
(Thu 10th Jul 2008, 21:34, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

mum, dad, sofa company
remember that period of several months of phone calls and letter writing, the legal threats, the independent furniture specialist and the various visits that culminated with replacement of the new sofa as it had come apart after only three weeks?

I'm sorry I somehow forgot to tell you that the damage could have been caused by drug-fueled sex with that lad that you didn't like while you were away for a week. Dont worry though, I learnt my lesson and only ever had sex in your bed for the rest of the summer.
(Thu 26th Aug 2010, 22:30, More)

» Drugs

up all night on speed, went to morrisons, bought a watermelon and four bottles of shampoo. forgot i had shaven my head the night before. the melon was nice though.
(Thu 16th Sep 2010, 23:00, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Vanessa Feltz
i met her at a book signing in waterstones in high barnet when i was 17. she sat on my lap and fked up my knees.
(Sun 8th Nov 2009, 18:29, More)
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