b3ta.com user forthejest
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I am dull.

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» Advice from Old People

From an old dying man...
... I saw t'other week in the hospital I voulenteer at.

"If you're neck deep in shit there's no point in slinging it"


"If it's a choice between saving face and saving your arse: always save your arse. Otherwise, how will you sit?"

I salute you, grizzled and now dead gentleman of the ward.
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 1:25, More)

» When Animals Attack

Not particularly interesting, but
I was awoken by my brother yesterday morning with the news that my hamster, Galvatron, had escaped. After finding him (a room and a half away) and returning him to his cage I was perplexed as to how he had escaped from his cage.

I discovered how in the evening, to my pure amazement (and hilarity) young Galvatron has learnt to open his cage door with his nose. It's one of the standard fare bar cages - nothing fancy: tubes to crawl in all held lovingly together with bars. One entrance/exit, a pull down barred door.

Young Galvatron has learnt that by throwing himself at the door then gripping its top with his teeth, whilst shimmying along it and pushing his head against the the top bar of the door (now that's convolouted!) he can pop it open.

Not quite sure how he survived the fall to the floor, or the lack of food and water all night - but suffice to say we learned how he did it when he proceeded to repeat the performance no less than three times in the evening.

The door is now held in place by loops of wire, The Galavatron is contained and I am amazed at his ingenuity.

Sorry for length, it's an image thing - I don't want to dwell on it.
(Sun 27th Apr 2008, 2:12, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

The shame
I don't actually care for my pet hamster, Galvatron. At all, he's only a baby and I already know I'll never love him. I only own him because he's fat, and I find fat hamsters funny.

This one's worse:

If I really need to pee, I'll hold it in for as long as possible. Sometimes for hours.
The relief upon release is almost orgasmic

I'm a bad person.

Length etc...
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 1:33, More)

» How nerdy are you?

I read b3ta obsessively, and I think I can finally unlurk (recent account, long time lurker) and rear my ugly face.

I curse in Strogg, frequently, and can say several small phrases in this non-language: purely through late-night hunting through the interweb. I know the entire alphabet.

I am over twenty and live with my parents, constantly cursing in Strogg.

I'm also obsessive about Transformers (Simon Furman, not that Bay filth) and WH40K fiction.

This post is already overlong, so I shall hide now.

*pop* sorry
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 23:06, More)