b3ta.com user wingphil
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Profile for wingphil:
Profile Info:

I live in bristol, and like most b3tans, i enjoy not working whilst at work. I also like music and stuff.

Here are some of my pics, not in any particular order:



Seal clubbing

"eh? wha'? i'mmashedmate"

Seal clubbing part 2

bdb4, but

not with these kitties. eye of the tiger!
click for bigger


rodin's 'drinker'
click for bigger

Found this trapped

in't bath t'other day


Recent front page messages:

bunnies are so versatile


(Thu 20th Mar 2003, 14:26, More)

damn damn damn

hope this isn't too late
(Fri 15th Nov 2002, 10:39, More)

I suppose I better post this while its still halloween

you can almost see the fear in his eyes...
(Thu 31st Oct 2002, 18:55, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Shit Stories

Shitty Bollocks
I once had a shit in a toilet with a particularly shallow bowl. It was a quite a long solid one, and unfortunately was just shorter than the distance twixt anus and porcelain.

It left my arse and almost immediately hit the bowl, and because the fall had been so gentle it stood up straight for a second instead of breaking or splatting. It then leaned forwards and gently caressed my unsuspecting bollocks with its shitty tip, leaving behind a fair sized deposit, before slumping against the front of the bowl as if satisfied with its evil work. I had to clean my poor shit-smeared sack and run home for a shower.

The sensation of having shit on your bollocks is fucking awful, especially when you were just having a normal casual shit and you weren't even fucked or ill or anything. *shudders*
(Thu 6th May 2004, 17:44, More)

» Now, there was no need for that...

cat shit
cat sh!ts on the bed. take off the sheet, duvet cover, mattress protector etc, off i go to the washing machine. come back, cat has sh!t on the bare mattress.

little b4stard.
(Mon 20th Jun 2005, 0:56, More)

» Your Greatest Dilemmas

Have a wank now (guaranteed obviously)
or save it for the possibility of a shag later?

It's a tough one, you can always do both but then you won't enjoy the shag as much...
(Wed 19th May 2004, 12:30, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Mr Um
The one below reminded me of this. Mr Um was a lecturer at uni (I did comp sci so maybe i shouldn't have been surprised). He said um a lot. A LOT. Guy next to me once plotted a graph of ums per minute (upm) over half an hour, and the shape of the curve ACTUALLY WROTE UM in joined up writing. No fucking kidding, i'm serious.

Back at school we also had Mr Bentley, who used to hide under the table when planes went over, with a metal wastebin on his head, shouting "THE GERMANS! THE GERMANS ARE COMING!"

edit: AND ANOTHER! One of the maths teachers got fired for kicking a kid through the wall of a tent to shut him up while drunk on a school camping trip. Last I heard he was working at B+Q. I love my school.
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 22:02, More)

» Sleepwalking

I was round a mates house
after a night on the class As, trying to get off with a 42 year old who I maintain was very well preserved. Anyway, fell asleep on the couch, woke up down the street, in only my socks, trying to get into my mates neighbours house using my own keys. thank fuck they didn't wake up. had to get mates girlfriend to let me in, she was not best pleased but saw the funny side :)

(Thu 30th Aug 2007, 18:36, More)
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