» Karma

Karma's a bitch
I've been lurking for years now, and only recently realised that I've had story for nearly every QOTW so far. So I'm finally IN.

So I left the girlfriend's place early one morning after getting in late and it'd been raining. As I stepped over the gutter I noticed a worm wriggling about in the stream.
Feeling sorry, I lifted it out with a key and carefully put it down on the grass footpath.
As I look up I see a glowing AUD$50 note on the road. I run over and claim my Karmic prize. As I cross the road to my car, I see another worm in the opposite gutter. "What the hell" I think, and lift him to his muddy salvation with his mate. As I turned to go back to the car, something caught my eye. Another $50 note on the road. "Score" thought I, doing a short dance. "This could turn into a very profitable enterprise." I spend the next 10 minutes scouring the gutters for more stray annelids, notes in hand but alas none are found. "Oh well, maybe I've done my Karmic duty for the day and received due reward, fair 'nuff" I think as I open my wallet to store said currency until it can be spent on boiled sweets and soda pop. As I stood there, in the rain, trying to figure out where the two $50 notes I had withdrawn the night before had gone, I'd swear I could hear some kind of ghostly laughing...
(Tue 26th Feb 2008, 13:48, More)

» Addicted

Apologies for length and lack of himmous.
I’m 21 years old, and until recently had been a 25-a-day smoker for almost four years. I’d dabbled with quitting, sometimes giving up for a week while using patches. I spent about 2 years on and off using patches about once a week. However, I’d always slip up and be back on the smokes soon enough. Unfortunately often not before scouring the garden or driveway for last week's butts if the shop was closed.

Recently I was lying in bed, pondering the question of why some people, such as my father (30 years a smoker), had no trouble quitting overnight with the birth/conception of a child, while others find it impossible. I realised the following:

a) That everyone I know who has quit easily has not used patches, but has had a reason to not smoke. Kids, etc.

b) These people never ‘fought the battle of quitting’ with Nicotine Replacement Therapy or anything.

c) These people claimed to never suffer from serious cravings.

The realisation I arrived at is that the people who’ve been successful have not ‘quit’ but said to themselves “from now on, I’m a non-smoker” and removed any question of slipping up. It happens automatically when a good reason comes along, but anyone can be that decisive. Given the fact that they were all resigned to being a non-smoker there was no period of quitting or battle, at least psychologically.

The point about the gum/patches is that they symbolize a recognition on your part that you are incapable of quitting on your own. I must stress that they work perfectly to eliminate the physical need for nicotine, but they don’t let you become strong on your own. Every time I used them, it’d work until I’d get drunk or run out of patches, at which point I would have no reason to feel strong enough to hold back. If you’re resolved from the start, the battle is already won. In this way, it isn’t the point when someone offers you a cigarette that is the critical point, it is the rationale behind the decision to quit.

This brings me to my final point, regarding the cravings. They’re really not as bad as they feel. I know that sounds insane but for me at least the vast majority of the anxiety and craving was anticipation of withdrawal rather than withdrawal itself. You get sweaty palms and shakes from the very thought of running out of smokes, but if you’ve accepted that there aren’t any more cigarettes to come, it is much, much easier. Over the last few weeks, which has been the first time in 3 ¾ years I’ve smoked less than 175 cigarettes a week, I’ve endured cravings similar to what I’d have on a normal day, maybe on a train and unable to smoke for an hour or two. If you see these as attrition to a finite amount of cravings, that is slowly chipped away, it really isn’t one hundredth as bad as the anticipation of withdrawal.

I could never be one of those preachy ex smokers who try to change people against their will, because I recognize that attacking a part of someone’s life is completely unproductive. Example: A foreigner has a go at your country of origin, pointing out very valid shortcomings and errors in governance. Do you say “Yes- thank you for pointing out the error of my ways. I will endeavour to remedy these problems because it is the right thing to do” -or- “Piss off wanker, look at where you’re from, you can’t judge me.” Attacking people just makes them stick by ‘their’ attacked feature more strongly, as agreeing with an attacker (even if they are right) is an unacceptable concession for most people. In short, I’m not writing this to pressure people to quit but more because it’s what I would have appreciated reading some time ago. I started smoking with friends who would have 4 or 5 on a Saturday night, and I got much more addicted than the friends who still smoke the same amount. I’ll probably still have the occasional one on a night out, but so long as I don’t ever feel compelled to buy a pack again, I’m happy. No lie, I woke up the morning after realising all this and just didn’t feel the need to go buy a pack, and haven’t since.

Now it’s just time to work on the addictions to caffeine, opium and high class escorts...

Length? More than 13 grand on the bastards in the last 3 years.
(Fri 19th Dec 2008, 4:36, More)

» Advice from Old People

Final Words
I'll never forget the final words that were handed down from my grandfather to my young father and then unto me.

He died, tragically in the Dachau concentration camp. It's a painful issue but he remained so resolved in the face of that insanity that his words are still relevant today. The last thing he said to my young Dad before he went away was:

"This Hitler and the rest of his cronies will spend all eternity in Hell.


They spend all this money on these camps and they still skimp on a safety railing for my guard tower. It's an OH&S Issue I tell you! I'll write a report after this shift."

I'm really, really sorry. Hat, Coat. Hull please driver.
(Tue 24th Jun 2008, 13:49, More)

» How nerdy are you?

I sometimes lose my grip on real life.
My phone and computer are synchronised with matching 24 themes. Both backgrounds are from CTU computers, my login screen is the same as on the show and my screen saver is the spinning CTU logo. I'll have to take a photo, it looks very techy when it goes simultaneously on my two screens. Ring and message tones are the external and internal call tones from the show, respectively.

"Division have vetoed that course of action" tended to mean the ex wanted to stay in and watch a movie, and I've really lost track of how inappropriate it is to always yell "Now" after ordering something in a shop.

After too much GTA I may or may not have stolen an abandoned bicycle because I didn't want to walk all the way across town. I could almost see the * over my head.

Any time I have a Fallout binge I start to think like the game, EXAMINING things and USING them when I figure it out.

The most damning evidence however is hoarding every odd bit of tat I can find and keeping it in the boot of my car (or on my person if I'm feeling retro) and instinctively knowing roughly how many bottle caps its worth if I can find the right trader.

Click "I Like This" if you understood any of that.
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 12:51, More)

» Get Rich Quick

Too late for clicks but it works.
1) Advertise a seminar.
Call it "How to make $10,000 in two weeks- guaranteed."

2) Rent a hall or conference centre. One that seats say, 250 people. Pay no more than $2500 for the venue.

3) Sell 250 tickets for $50 each.

4) Read them the above post.

If you follow it to the letter, and don't diddle daddle, there is your money making scheme!
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 5:19, More)