Apologies for length and lack of himmous.
I’m 21 years old, and until recently had been a 25-a-day smoker for almost four years. I’d dabbled with quitting, sometimes giving up for a week while using patches. I spent about 2 years on and off using patches about once a week. However, I’d always slip up and be back on the smokes soon enough. Unfortunately often not before scouring the garden or driveway for last week's butts if the shop was closed.

Recently I was lying in bed, pondering the question of why some people, such as my father (30 years a smoker), had no trouble quitting overnight with the birth/conception of a child, while others find it impossible. I realised the following:

a) That everyone I know who has quit easily has not used patches, but has had a reason to not smoke. Kids, etc.

b) These people never ‘fought the battle of quitting’ with Nicotine Replacement Therapy or anything.

c) These people claimed to never suffer from serious cravings.

The realisation I arrived at is that the people who’ve been successful have not ‘quit’ but said to themselves “from now on, I’m a non-smoker” and removed any question of slipping up. It happens automatically when a good reason comes along, but anyone can be that decisive. Given the fact that they were all resigned to being a non-smoker there was no period of quitting or battle, at least psychologically.

The point about the gum/patches is that they symbolize a recognition on your part that you are incapable of quitting on your own. I must stress that they work perfectly to eliminate the physical need for nicotine, but they don’t let you become strong on your own. Every time I used them, it’d work until I’d get drunk or run out of patches, at which point I would have no reason to feel strong enough to hold back. If you’re resolved from the start, the battle is already won. In this way, it isn’t the point when someone offers you a cigarette that is the critical point, it is the rationale behind the decision to quit.

This brings me to my final point, regarding the cravings. They’re really not as bad as they feel. I know that sounds insane but for me at least the vast majority of the anxiety and craving was anticipation of withdrawal rather than withdrawal itself. You get sweaty palms and shakes from the very thought of running out of smokes, but if you’ve accepted that there aren’t any more cigarettes to come, it is much, much easier. Over the last few weeks, which has been the first time in 3 ¾ years I’ve smoked less than 175 cigarettes a week, I’ve endured cravings similar to what I’d have on a normal day, maybe on a train and unable to smoke for an hour or two. If you see these as attrition to a finite amount of cravings, that is slowly chipped away, it really isn’t one hundredth as bad as the anticipation of withdrawal.

I could never be one of those preachy ex smokers who try to change people against their will, because I recognize that attacking a part of someone’s life is completely unproductive. Example: A foreigner has a go at your country of origin, pointing out very valid shortcomings and errors in governance. Do you say “Yes- thank you for pointing out the error of my ways. I will endeavour to remedy these problems because it is the right thing to do” -or- “Piss off wanker, look at where you’re from, you can’t judge me.” Attacking people just makes them stick by ‘their’ attacked feature more strongly, as agreeing with an attacker (even if they are right) is an unacceptable concession for most people. In short, I’m not writing this to pressure people to quit but more because it’s what I would have appreciated reading some time ago. I started smoking with friends who would have 4 or 5 on a Saturday night, and I got much more addicted than the friends who still smoke the same amount. I’ll probably still have the occasional one on a night out, but so long as I don’t ever feel compelled to buy a pack again, I’m happy. No lie, I woke up the morning after realising all this and just didn’t feel the need to go buy a pack, and haven’t since.

Now it’s just time to work on the addictions to caffeine, opium and high class escorts...

Length? More than 13 grand on the bastards in the last 3 years.
(Edktstsss, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:36, 5 replies)

i agree
It was only fairly recently that I realised I had a drinking problem.

After some very half-hearted attempts (ie no real incentive other than thinking "maybe I should do something about this) and no success I had reached a point in my life where if I didn't stop things would go very wrong.

I finally had the psychological motivation to do it. No booze patches (i'm surprised these don't exist) and no cutting down a bit, just cold turkey.

It will be 2 years in Feb since I've had a drink and things are just so much better.

I used to react with the same "What do you mean you don't drink?...what not at all?" surprise that people now great me with when finding out that I don't drink. And before this epiphany, even with the most profund arguments, you would have never convinced me to give up, I had to do it for myself.

And yes, I'm not sure how I afforded to keep up this habit for at least 20 years and not be flat broke.
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:03, closed)

Yeh funny how drink and cigarettes are treated differently
For example, if I went out and someone offered me a cigarette and I said "no thanks, I don't smoke", I get the "oh, good man. I wish I hadn't started, etc etc."

However on several occasions when I just haven't felt like drinking alcohol (or have been driving) and I ask for a soft drink after someone offers to buy me a beer, I get, "what's up with you? Don't be so bloody antisocial/boring/queer, etc.". Usually from the people who are "socially vomiting & pissing" on the pavements later that evening.

Top OP, by the way - that is how my ex stopped smoking.
( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:55, closed)

Me too!
That's how I quit. Just in my head I was a non-smoker. Plus a change of scenery on a long weekend so I wasn't constantly expecting a cigarette. I used gum but hardly any while away, a bit more when I got back - and I'd kicked it within a week.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:29, closed)

So true..
You've basically hit upon the cycle (or stages) of change model by Prochaska & DiClemente, which is often used with addictions (and has a very good evidence base).

www.addictioninfo.org/articles/11/1/Stages-of-Change-Model/Page1.html

People who are dependent on gum/patches etc are often in stage three, whereas what you are describing is stage four. If you can get yourself there psychologically, its a whole different ballgame.
(cherrynicola, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:49, closed)

Interesting link, thanks.
I'm sure this is used in CBT *looks for books*.
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 20 Dec 2008, 22:26, closed)