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» Phobias

Oh My God

Just remembered this...

I have a pet tortoise whom i love with all my heart. Bruce is a little boy of only 2 years and so hasn't...ahem...developed 'organs' of the sexual kind.

Someone showed me this...Warning...NSFW or for tortoises


I now have a fear of my tortoise hitting puberty!

Pass the mind bleach please....
(Wed 16th Apr 2008, 18:50, More)

» Phobias

Ok, so I have a genuine phobia of flying....
‘Planes are safer than cars!’ I hear you cry… ‘6 gazzilion planes take off a day and hardly ever crash!’ you yell…

Sorry but the point of a phobia, is to have an IRRATIONAL fear and no amount of RATIONAL explanation will convince me to sail upon Richard Branson’s tin can of doom.

So I’ve missed a few holidays or if I’ve really needed to go forced my long suffering fiancé on 30 hour coach trips to Spain laced with dysentery and…erm…the elderly.

Now if people can please just shut the hell up about trying to force me to do something that in my mind will lead to certain death…we can all get on with living!!!111

Bit psycho for a first post? I also don’t like…

-Old people that say ‘wet my whistle’ *shudder*

-Songs from before the 1960’s- Reminds me of working in an old peoples home. Lots of elderly ladies vacantly staring out windows waiting for visitors that never came. I swear you could smell the death……or was that faeces?

-The scratchy bottom of china cups

-Jeremy Kyle….not really a phobia, I just hate his stupid face.

(Tue 15th Apr 2008, 10:27, More)

» Best Films Ever

I'm not sure what the best film i've seen is...however I bloody love a good zombie film. Preferably the apocalyptic type (..not sure theres another type of zombie film).

The zombie film that has had the biggest impact on me is probably 28 weeks later (although strictly not zombies). While the film itself is a bit meh, the part when all of them run across the fields after the survivors from the house..possibly the scariest scene iv'e ever watched, apart from anything in the eye-japanese version, of course.

Bit off topic but am bitterly disappointed in I am Legend after reading the book...that film raped the original story. Ho hum....
(Fri 18th Jul 2008, 9:45, More)

» Accidental innuendo

While still courting with mr cupcake...many moons ago,
I would travel by train to Plymouth to see him. Once we
stopped in the station's spar shop to grab a ploughmans
sandwhich and was met with a queue.

'Joan, can you cum on the till please'

Cue mr cupcake shitting himself and me having to escort
him from said spar.....then I knew it was love......
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 8:47, More)