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- a member for 16 years, 7 months and 7 days
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- has posted 3 stories and 3 replies on question of the week
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» Customers from Hell
Air Hostess
(1st post nerves!)
So, it was around 2002 and a friend was working for a reputable airline out of the Middle East, the very same what sponsors footie clubs n'that. She worked in First Class on a full flight and was rushed off her feet as soon as service started. After a short while she eventually got around to the portly Indian fella whose service light she noticed was on. She smiled warmly at him.
"Madam" he said "I have been fingering you and fingering you for ages and still you are not coming"
She inhaled, sucked in her cheeks and walked back to the galley to piss herself.
Later, he asked for a Walking Jonny whisky!
God bless the world and all who sail in us.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 11:15, More)
Air Hostess
(1st post nerves!)
So, it was around 2002 and a friend was working for a reputable airline out of the Middle East, the very same what sponsors footie clubs n'that. She worked in First Class on a full flight and was rushed off her feet as soon as service started. After a short while she eventually got around to the portly Indian fella whose service light she noticed was on. She smiled warmly at him.
"Madam" he said "I have been fingering you and fingering you for ages and still you are not coming"
She inhaled, sucked in her cheeks and walked back to the galley to piss herself.
Later, he asked for a Walking Jonny whisky!
God bless the world and all who sail in us.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 11:15, More)
» Banks
Shabby National Fucksacks
Had an account with Abbey years ago. They charged me lots. I claimed charges back and won, then closed the account.
Abbey were upset. They posted a default on my credit file. I asked them to remove it. They posted it with all 3 credit ref agencies. I asked them to substantiate it or remove it. They did neither.
I read the law and am now taking them to court. Sent them a final letter offering them to resolve issue and avoid litigation.
They phoned me this week. I asked them to remove false default info. They said "no". I asked if they had Default Notice, a legal requirement. They said "no". I asked what they would do when the judge asked them to present it...they weren't sure.
So, if you hold shares in Abbey, sell them. They are a bunch of useless, lying, ignorant, stupid, timewasting, moneywasting cunts.
I'm suing them for £5,000. I will win.
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 17:04, More)
Shabby National Fucksacks
Had an account with Abbey years ago. They charged me lots. I claimed charges back and won, then closed the account.
Abbey were upset. They posted a default on my credit file. I asked them to remove it. They posted it with all 3 credit ref agencies. I asked them to substantiate it or remove it. They did neither.
I read the law and am now taking them to court. Sent them a final letter offering them to resolve issue and avoid litigation.
They phoned me this week. I asked them to remove false default info. They said "no". I asked if they had Default Notice, a legal requirement. They said "no". I asked what they would do when the judge asked them to present it...they weren't sure.
So, if you hold shares in Abbey, sell them. They are a bunch of useless, lying, ignorant, stupid, timewasting, moneywasting cunts.
I'm suing them for £5,000. I will win.
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 17:04, More)
» Buses
Nicked!
So, we attended the funeral of my friends brother. After the wake we had to take a bus home. Four of us got on the bus and went upstairs and sat at the back, lost in our thoughts and obviously quite upset by the whole thing. We hadnt really noticed or acknowledged the many yoofs on the top deck, muttering amongst themselves. Then we did notice them eyeing us suspiciously. They numbered about 12.
Then the group mentality kicked in and they decided to provoke us with taunts about our suits, being white, being pussies...and on and on. Then, one by one, they took their belts off and wrapped them around their fists and started towards us. They piled in, the bus ground to a stop and after a few minutes of fending off blows we heard the sirens.
We managed to fight our way down the stairs and off the bus to meet the cops while our new friends shouted out the window about how racist we were etc etc. The police decided to nick us and we spent the night in the cells.
The memories of that night warm my heart to this very day. We were released without charge.
Sorry, not very funny I know.
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 14:03, More)
Nicked!
So, we attended the funeral of my friends brother. After the wake we had to take a bus home. Four of us got on the bus and went upstairs and sat at the back, lost in our thoughts and obviously quite upset by the whole thing. We hadnt really noticed or acknowledged the many yoofs on the top deck, muttering amongst themselves. Then we did notice them eyeing us suspiciously. They numbered about 12.
Then the group mentality kicked in and they decided to provoke us with taunts about our suits, being white, being pussies...and on and on. Then, one by one, they took their belts off and wrapped them around their fists and started towards us. They piled in, the bus ground to a stop and after a few minutes of fending off blows we heard the sirens.
We managed to fight our way down the stairs and off the bus to meet the cops while our new friends shouted out the window about how racist we were etc etc. The police decided to nick us and we spent the night in the cells.
The memories of that night warm my heart to this very day. We were released without charge.
Sorry, not very funny I know.
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 14:03, More)