b3ta.com user whuppingboy
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» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

When i was a kid i loved playing cars.... Now i'm 38 i still love cars...The other day at my mother in laws i spied a tub of cars on the side which my daughter of 5 years had been playing with earlier. I waited till everyone else had left the room and then took my chance. Running over i picked a favourite from the tub,(Alfa Romeo Spyder, Flame Red),and proceeded to brumm it on the table with a long drifting skid put here, u-turns, flips and 360's ...Fantastic...Love it.
No one knows and they never will.....HA hA ha ha...
(Tue 22nd Sep 2009, 12:37, More)

» Pubs

Pub in Hucknall Years ago
Years ago i was invited by my dreadlocked stoner friend to go and watch a band at a local-ish boozer, not unusual because we used to gig together quite alot. We got there and got a pint before the band came on. They were called 'NOT CLIFF RICHARD'. I wasn't ready for what happened next, the lead singer came into the audience seconds after it started wearing some kind of baggy leggings and hair all over the shop. I just dodged him by centimeters as he grabbed the guy next to me and threw him over the pool table and began to 'mock' bum him infront of a shocked audience, the lead singer then went on to piss in a blokes pint and light his farts until he shat himself. Then he paraded round with shit stains all over his arse and up his back banging into the crowd. The band were ok and the lead singer eventually half collapsed on the pool table as he shit into another pint glass. This was one of the most surreal, shocking and amusing moments in my life. I haven't seen hide nor hair of them since but recommend taking your mother.!!not.
(Fri 6th Feb 2009, 15:36, More)

» Cringe!

Library VS NWA
It happened way back in college whilst i was studying hard in the library. I had been hard at it for at least 20 minutes when i noticed people going up to the counter and getting headphones (the big Dave Lee Travis ear cup ones), and so i wanted a piece of the action. I got up and asked for the headphones and the librarian told me what to do and where to go. I sat down in front of the tape cassette player and inserted my day old copy of 'Straight outta Compton'. After pressing play i waited for the intro, but none came. I pressed stop then again pressed play and still nothing after a short while. Then the tap on my shoulder made me take the phones off. Unknown to me i had inserted the jack in the wrong socket and every student, librarian and lecturer in the library had an earful of 'FUCK THE POLICE' at high volume. CRINGING BADLY AT THIS AS I READ IT..Nver went back into the library again all term...
(Mon 1st Dec 2008, 8:30, More)

» PE Lessons

Table Tennis
We had a table tennis lesson with a teacher who to put it bluntly was the biggest, fattest, slimiest creep you ever saw. He would take us for table tennis and recommend that we wear small shorts and tight tops so it 'wouldn't hamper our actions' at all. We played table tennis and he watched from the other side of the room for 40 mins. Then after that he would tell us to run once around the school yard and back. When we came back the showers had been put on and he stood there as we filed past into the showers. It was a bit unnerving as every now and then he would pat someones bum and tell them to hurry up.
After this happened a couple of times we decided on a plan.

When he told us to run around the school yard we cut corners and ran as fast as our shorts would let us. We made it back in record time and he was stil packing away his balls(ping pong ones) and seemed a bit annoyed as he came in a bit red faced and half of the lads had already showered.
He came around the room and asked us if we had and we said yes even if we hadn't. He was pissed.
The next lesson came and when we finished and got ready for the sprint+shortcuts he said this time to run around 3 times. (only because he then had plenty of time to put the shit away and then ogle us).
I haven't really thought about the whole situation and how inappropiate it was until writing this message. SO WRONG!!!!
I hear he is dead now, he went to heaven happy though because of us.
All the names and addresses have been omitted to protect the innocent.
(Fri 20th Nov 2009, 16:08, More)

» Addicted

I adore vicks vapo-rub. I rub it everywhere when i'm ill and also when i'm not. I go through litres of the stuff. It's sooo lovely, my wife thinks i'm a freak but i dont care. After a few months on the tub i kick it for a few weeks then all i need is one faint whiff and then i'm back on again fully lathered in the stuff...
(Mon 22nd Dec 2008, 12:50, More)
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