» Pointless Experiments

When I was in the special forces...
we were once dropped off a plane into the African Savannah with a few explosive materials, bows and arrows and told to survive for a week. So there we were, about ten of us, all greener than a spinach-fueled poo, all alone in the great outdoors. In a typical male display of bravado, we decided to pool our resources and kill the largest animal we possibly could. Elephants, rhinos and hippos were obviously out of the question, because they are too difficult to kill, and we couldn't find any giraffes.

So we decided that we'd try to kill a buffalo. The problem is, buffaloes are generally quite wary and almost impossible to get in a trap. So Jim, the troop's explosives expert, came up with a plan that involved putting a small amount of explosive on an arrow-head strapped to a long stick and hurling it like a javelin at a buffalo.

On drawing straws to decide who would be the unlucky sod who got to throw our jury-rigged explosive spear, yours truly drew the shortest one. So, having snuck up to a herd of buffalo quietly grazing, I threw the spear. Surprisingly, it flew unerringly and, on hitting the buffalo, promptly exploded.

The rest of the herd having scattered, we went in and retrieved what was left of the spear. The arrow-head had disappeared to fuck-knows-where, and what we were left with on removing the shaft was pointless-ex-speary-mince.

*POP*, please be gentle
(Mon 28th Jul 2008, 19:07, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

I had a beautiful
old hardcover 35mm photography book. When I had learnt everything I could from it, I gave it away to my cousin, who promptly got offered $1000 for it. Apparently, it was vintage and in mint condition. Did I get anything out of it, did I fuck!

My cousin never actually sold it, but still...
(Thu 14th Aug 2008, 21:09, More)