» Impulse buys

drunk footie manager
I once bought Teddy Sherringham for £10,000,000 on Championship manager when I was drunk. He was 38.

ok its not real money but i was not best pleased in the morning.
(Fri 22nd May 2009, 16:06, More)

» Dates Gone Wrong

Internet dating at it's best
I gave internet dating a fair few years back and after a while, started chatting to a girl who sounded very nice. Lots in common with same music, tv tastes and chatted about all sorts of things for a while.
Obviously the meeting was the next stage so me, not being to experienced with dating thought up about six topics to fall back on should the going get tough. Within 5 minutes I had used them all...
I just couldn't get this girl to talk about much at all and when I said "oh you said you liked greenday in your message", she said "yeah they are ok but i like take that more".
Things only went worse when I asked her about what career she was going for when she said "air hostess however I hate flying"... Now something deep inside me said "oh, just like Mr T then". This was not a good thing to say on a first date with someone you met off the internet.
Also there was a whale stuck in the Thames at the time which was in the news quite a bit so at one point she said to me "you know the whale off the news".... I reply by saying "oh yes, the one that died this morning?".... she replied that her dad was incharge of keeping it alive or something.
I even went to the gents at one point, hoping she wouldn't be there when I got out.
(Thu 4th Sep 2014, 15:15, More)

» Biggest opportunity I've blown

Internet dating pioneer
It was about 1997 and the internet was a wonderful place full of discovery and geocities with 33k modems and Yahoo was our master.
Being around 17 at the time I was not old enough to goto pubs and this new virtual world was a great place to escape to and that is when I discovered Yahoo chat rooms. It was innocent times and being able to talk to someone in real time who was hundreds of miles away was new to us all. I would talk to anyone who would talk back (when I wasn't harassing the Christians) and one day I met her. She was called Kim and from Belgium. We just clicked instantly. I was fighting the feelings for ages which I knew were there as it was online and how stupid was that eh? Finding love online was something no one had ever thought of before and didn't want to scare her away by sounding crazy.
I remember the moment. I was sitting on a bench outside a super drug with some college friends when it all came together. I loved that girl more than anything even though I only had one pic of her which took a hour to download! One evening before I could say anything she beat me to it and confessed love for me! From there on we would spend as much time talking online as we could and everything was going to work out.

Anyway to wrap it up, I never met her as I worried what people would think of me going all the way to meet up with someone online. She was the love of my life and I missed the chance big. Fast forward a few years and people proudly announce they met online while it is fast becoming the norm.
I am confident we would have met, married and be living happily ever after by now had I not been such a scared little goon. After realising I blew it I fell into a deep depression for years to come.

Moral of the story, FOR CHRIST SAKE TAKE YOUR CHANCE IN LIFE!

Sorry for length with no pun or hulk hogan related joke but you know, B3TA has helped me! Maybe next week I will lighten up?
(Mon 7th Apr 2014, 0:24, More)

» B3TA fixes the world

opened a wound....
1. ban pushchairs from shops at weekends.
2. put those yellow lines you get at box junctions in the doorways to shops to stop twats from standing there.
3. Arrest the McCanns for Kidnap and Murder.
4. Free facelift to Shannon Mathews.
5. Advert breaks to be no longer that 2:30 by law and to be staggered accross channels.
6. EU to investigate why its ok to fine Microsoft billions of pounds for putting IE in Windows but its fine for Apple to take your soul if you try to not use iTunes.
7. If a woman your going out with admits to performing a lude sexual act on a previous partner then she is required to perform it on you at least once so you can "feel what its like".
8. Anyone who admits to playing as the Alliance on World of Warcraft have their nuts kicked in.
9. Women who cry rape but are found to be lieing to recieve a 10 year min sentance.
10. Women to be banned from driving.
11. Not indicating to be punished by death.
12. Those who voted for Gordon Brown at the last ellection to reviece free anti-psycotic drugs.
13. Any school which moans about the govenment scrapping BSF should be set alight with the head teacher trapped inside.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2011, 20:02, More)

» Creepy!

animated animals....
Not all animated animals but two for now and I get the feeling its becomming a phobia. Anyway the first one I find creepy is that bear off the birds eye adverts. You know when someone opens their fridge to find a small bear with little eyes there who threatens to break their legs if they dont buy the correct peas next time. I mean I seem to be on a strange planet where no one else finds that just wrong. Its not even that part but the end when it cuts back to the bear who says something like "oh and dave.... buy that shit again and i'll cut ya.
Leading on from that, the misses has been watching old reruns of Bad Girls (the womans jail thing) and I have got into it a little as well. Anyway its sponsored by some pharmacy which has a huge cartoon owl wearing peoples cloths.... its starting to get to me.
Oh and to finish this little theropy session the single most creepy shit in the world was that television test card with the girl and creepy clown playing on a black board. Not just that but the constant "booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop" noise just said to me "the clown wants to cut you up"..... creepy shit.
(Wed 13th Apr 2011, 13:06, More)