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» Dad stories
The man is unstoppable
My dad is undoubtedly a menace.
When I was 12 he was christened : 'Naked Gorilla Man' due to frequently appearing inexplicably lacking in clothes whenever a friend was round. Kept this act up till I was 18.
When I was 15 he remarked upon the huge chesticles of a friend of mine. This pretty much directly led to me never getting to have a go on them.
16... Its my cousins 18th birthday party and shes chosen a rather seethrough number. My dad leans in, peering intently.. "IS THAT A WONDERBRAAAAR?"
My brothers wedding was last month. He's married into a lovely family, 4 sisters all of which are rather nice looking. In the church, at the wedding rehearsal he peers over towards the aisle they are sat on... "Thats a fine specimen of a woman".. knowing his reputation the best man asks "which one?". A slight growl and the resounding "ALL OF THEM" echos around the small family church.
He's in his mid 60s now and showing no signs of slowing down
(Fri 26th Nov 2010, 16:55, More)
The man is unstoppable
My dad is undoubtedly a menace.
When I was 12 he was christened : 'Naked Gorilla Man' due to frequently appearing inexplicably lacking in clothes whenever a friend was round. Kept this act up till I was 18.
When I was 15 he remarked upon the huge chesticles of a friend of mine. This pretty much directly led to me never getting to have a go on them.
16... Its my cousins 18th birthday party and shes chosen a rather seethrough number. My dad leans in, peering intently.. "IS THAT A WONDERBRAAAAR?"
My brothers wedding was last month. He's married into a lovely family, 4 sisters all of which are rather nice looking. In the church, at the wedding rehearsal he peers over towards the aisle they are sat on... "Thats a fine specimen of a woman".. knowing his reputation the best man asks "which one?". A slight growl and the resounding "ALL OF THEM" echos around the small family church.
He's in his mid 60s now and showing no signs of slowing down
(Fri 26th Nov 2010, 16:55, More)
» Siblings
Of inappropriate feelings and snoggings
A long time ago I met this hot chick; I was in an ill thought out costume of a certain well known evil regime which she was a bit skeptical of, and we had no idea we were related (we were both given up at birth).
Anyway after a seriously weird evening of antics she invited me back to hers and I was thinking yes i'm in here, next thing I know
I've been conscripted into some rebellion of hers (the 60s are over dear) and its off to a huge battle which I win for her (hey, im definately getting some booty now I figure)... but no, we end up moving to some frozen wasteland where I get half killed by some hairy local, only getting a sympathy snog for my trouble and then she wants to move again.
I figure at this point shes just a prick tease and leave her to it and go off to do the find my destiny thing and move on with my life. Come the end and at the end of it as some search your feelings exercise we go through my family tree and my instructor turns round and tells me shes my sister! I tried to play it cool but all I could think was 'I snogged my sister!' and then someone got wind of it all made a film and now everyone knows my shame *sob*... oh, and *pop*!
(Fri 2nd Jan 2009, 20:14, More)
Of inappropriate feelings and snoggings
A long time ago I met this hot chick; I was in an ill thought out costume of a certain well known evil regime which she was a bit skeptical of, and we had no idea we were related (we were both given up at birth).
Anyway after a seriously weird evening of antics she invited me back to hers and I was thinking yes i'm in here, next thing I know
I've been conscripted into some rebellion of hers (the 60s are over dear) and its off to a huge battle which I win for her (hey, im definately getting some booty now I figure)... but no, we end up moving to some frozen wasteland where I get half killed by some hairy local, only getting a sympathy snog for my trouble and then she wants to move again.
I figure at this point shes just a prick tease and leave her to it and go off to do the find my destiny thing and move on with my life. Come the end and at the end of it as some search your feelings exercise we go through my family tree and my instructor turns round and tells me shes my sister! I tried to play it cool but all I could think was 'I snogged my sister!' and then someone got wind of it all made a film and now everyone knows my shame *sob*... oh, and *pop*!
(Fri 2nd Jan 2009, 20:14, More)
» Banks
Is that your final answer?
A bank counter, some years ago
Counter person : 'Ok, I just need to ask you some security questions. What is your mothers maiden name?'
Me : 'McSpriggety' *may not be genuine
Counter person : 'hmm. Could it be anything else?'
Me : 'No'
Counter person : 'ok, thats fine, heres your money'
*boggles*
Length? 149mm x 80mm according to the interwebs
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 12:48, More)
Is that your final answer?
A bank counter, some years ago
Counter person : 'Ok, I just need to ask you some security questions. What is your mothers maiden name?'
Me : 'McSpriggety' *may not be genuine
Counter person : 'hmm. Could it be anything else?'
Me : 'No'
Counter person : 'ok, thats fine, heres your money'
*boggles*
Length? 149mm x 80mm according to the interwebs
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 12:48, More)