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» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Cofee with Dad
After finally getting a real job I moved out of my folk’s house. All proud of my apartment and new found independence, I invited my father over to check it out. He came over and was polite about what he saw, although looking back I know it was a rare shithole.
We got to talking and i suggested coffee. Picking up the new coffee system and cheap ass coffee beans i had bought, I realized I had no clue. but WTF give it a shot.
The old feller talk the cup, added his milk and 1.5 teaspoons of sugar, took a sip and kicked back. He started talking to me about his life and how coffee was involved in it. Now he was an interesting feller and he talked of the coffee he had in the orphanage where he grew up and how it was a privilege once you were 13 and allowed to drink it. And how it took some getting used to but the kick was awesome.
He spoke of the coffee pot in the gym where he trained as a boxer, and how it was a social focus point. He talked about making coffee in his helmet with his buddies during the war and how many guys he had coffee with who didn't come home.
He spoke of the coffee pot in the firehouse where he worked for 30 years in Little Italy. How it was always on and it was a last in first out system, and the stuff on the bottom could strip paint.
As he spoke I was totally blown away about his openness and I felt privileged to hear his story of becoming a man, I swear I was all teary eyed.
I knew when his noble soliloquy was reaching its end. I was totally focused on his words, waiting for the grand secret of life he was coming to, the information he learned trough 50 years of life that he was going to impart to me, father to son. I was sitting at the end of my chair, waiting for his words, filled with love for the old feller as he said " But you know Kevin, through all those years I can safely say, this is the worst fucking cup of coffee I ever had.”
I almost pissed myself laughing, as I ran down to the corner deli to get a couple of cups more palatable.
(Tue 31st May 2011, 21:02, More)

» Advice from Old People

Broken hearted
I had just broken up with my fiery red headed girlfriend. she was the best lay I ever head and the worst bitch i ever knew. To make it worse, she took to shagging my assistant at work, and I head to deal with that smarmy mother fucker everyday.
I was deep in lamenting my sad story to my da,a NYC Fireman for 30 years and a decorated war hero, and he goes" are you kiddin'me? FUCK her" (As in who needs her) I continued to moan a little and he goes again, "wait a minute, your not listening, FUCK HER" I thought about it for a moment and realized;. You know what, he's right FUCK her. Never thought about the cunt again. Good man me Da.
(Sat 21st Jun 2008, 19:45, More)