b3ta.com user monkeys in underpants
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for monkeys in underpants:
Profile Info:

This probably isn't accidental.

I work in a plumber's merchant and I had a very well to do couple in the shop. A bit like "Keeping up apperances". Husband could only speak when ordered.

The woman was on the hunt for a bath. She described what she wanted to a colleage to my left as I was dealing with a regular tradesman.

After a pause she added "And I want a non-slip bottom". I mumbled to the tradesaman "I've got one of those, never slid off the settee in months". She began to snigger so totally dead pan I continued "Bugger on the bannana-slide though". At this point she burst into laughter to my surprise. I had to go and hide for at least five minutes.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Blood

I have to give blood every month for life
I suffer from Haemachromatosis and have to give a pint and a half every four weeks for life or die slowly fom multiple organ failure. Since I was diagnosed five years ago I've given enough to have a bath in.
(Sat 9th Aug 2008, 19:33, More)

» Advice from Old People

A beautiful victrian house near me was bought by a builder. Not long after it had white plastic cladding, statues in the garden and two bay windows containing huge plasma tellies.

As I waslked past with my Dad he shook his head and mumbled "You can't BUY taste"
(Mon 23rd Jun 2008, 14:11, More)

» Advice from Old People

Gurkha's knife
I was once told that your cock is like a gurkha's knife. Once you take it out you MUST use it.
(Wed 25th Jun 2008, 14:08, More)

» Advice from Old People

It's so obvious
My Nanna insisted that she new a man with a wooden leg and a real foot. Obviously I thought this couldn't be right.

Years after her death, in my early thirties it dawned on me that the real foot was on the OTHER leg.

I have an I.Q. of 159 and still I'm thick as fuck!
(Tue 24th Jun 2008, 23:05, More)