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» When I met the parents

Poo 'Joke'
It was actually the second time I'd met them, but the first time I'd been invited round to theirs for Sunday dinner.

All was very nice, but felt very much like a BIG THING so I was relieved that my fella's sister was around to provide some comic relief by taking the piss out of their parents for 'showing off' - 'Ha! What you bothering with napkins for Dad?' - that kind of thing.

Anyway, after the meal we headed into the living room where Dad immediately hands me the photo albums - bonus!

Both parents wandered off to tidy up whilst my fella, his sister and I looked through pics of them as little children. We came to a picture of him wearing a top with a big 2 on it. We'd been taking the piss out of most of the pictures we'd seen, so I said in my most stupid, childlike voice, 'Number 2, like a poo' and he and his sister collapsed into giggles, and set me off too, which would have been fine had their father not come back into the room at that point, wanting to know what he'd missed.

My fella tried to brush it off with 'oh, Kitty made a poo joke' but when Dad said, 'Oh, go on then...' and demanded it was explained to him, I quickly stopped being amused and my face froze in abject horror and went a marvellous purple as the 'joke' (which was all in the delivery) was explained.

He looked at me for a minute, then said 'oh' with a puzzled look on his face, and walked out again.

Still, I've been invited back so it can't have been that bad!
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 11:23, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

A friend and I went on a trip...
... round the country, to visit various friends at various universities.

We invented lots of games to make it more interesting, and here are two of my favourite:

1. When we stopped at traffic lights, if there was a passer-by near enough, we'd wind down the window as if to ask for directions and then say, 'got any crisps?'

People would walk away briskly looking bemused.

2. My boyfriend said in a moment of daftness, 'I want you to ring me every time you have a burger.'

So, we did. And we made a point of having lots of burgers too :)
(Tue 30th Mar 2004, 16:32, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Labyrinth
As a child watching Labyrinth, I fancied David Bowie.

Yes. Even wearing tights.

Even with a mullet.

*shame*
(Mon 13th Dec 2004, 12:20, More)

» Near Death Experiences

When I was 7...
I lived in the middle of nowhere, on a farm, and used to take my BMX all over the place. My parents were really cool, but said 'NEVER GO ON THE MAIN ROAD!' and mostly I listened - there were plenty of other places to go. But eventually, I got bored of those other places, and one day, I ventured out into the road, and our lane-end was just on the brow of a blind spot. I turned to look to the right, and saw a grey car speeding towards me, coming over the brow of the blind-spot, and felt strangely calm, with 'this is it then...' going through my head. I shut my eyes....











and nothing happened. Nothing. No car, nothing.

Bah, sensible sub-conscious or what?!
(Fri 26th Nov 2004, 17:33, More)

» Winning

Inappropriate prizes
I won the school music prize when I was 18. Then the A level results came out, and I'd come bottom of the class.

I also won the star prize in a raffle when I was about 6 - a case of expensive wine.
(Fri 29th Apr 2011, 17:10, More)
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